Today, Pretty Bride made the mistake of leaving me alone with Toddler for several hours while she ran some errands. As she drove away, I was sitting on the front porch with my Thinkpad; Toddler had just removed her diaper and was having some bare ass time on the porch […]
Pretty Bride called me at work Friday (something she hasn’t done in recent memory) with important news: Toddler had shat in the potty. I know, readers who aren’t parents could give a rat’s ass, but those of us who change diapers daily and look at an increasingly large belly each […]
Hello, Pretty Bride here. Muskrat doesn’t know I can hear him upstairs with his daughter through the monitor. He left me with his Thinkpad chatting with an AT&T rep, so he could go initiate bathtime. Just thought I’d transcribe the exchange upstairs: Muskrat: Your name is Macy, not Baby. Toddler: […]
We’re having a boy in a few months, and I’m a little tired of hearing that I’ll be “baptized” soon. Apparently, this means that when I remove Future Baby’s diaper, the cool air will encourage him to piss all over me. Thus, the “baptism.” What a crap euphemism. It’s usually […]
As I’ve written about before, we’re too cheap to buy a booster seat for Toddler, so she sits on phonebooks in a grownup chair when we gather around the table to break bread every evening. Today, I noticed she’d shed her drawers for some reason and was sitting bare ass. […]
