1- Filling out my bar fitness applications was a giant pain in the backside, as applicants are supposed to disclose all speeding tickets, arrests, times incarcerated, etc. At the time, I’d had over 10 tickets and 4 arrests that I had to describe in detail. 2- I “conveniently forgot” to disclose said infractions when applying [...]
My favorite age: 17. I had a new car I’d bought with scholarship money, a bedroom window only a few feet above the ground, and the belief that I knew, and could accomplish, anything. My best friend: Pretty Bride. My celebrity crush: The lead singer of Poison, until I learned Bret was a man. Also, [...]
Hello, Pretty Bride here. Muskrat doesn’t know I can hear him upstairs with his daughter through the monitor. He left me with his Thinkpad chatting with an AT&T rep, so he could go initiate bathtime. Just thought I’d transcribe the exchange upstairs: Muskrat: Your name is Macy, not Baby. Toddler: Not Ba-by. Muskrat: Say, “My [...]
I’ve noticed something. Whenever I get my monthly or semi-monthly or whatever it is email from Marriott showing my points totals and what deals they have to encourage more travel, I get a similar email from Hilton a couple hours later. I found this puzzling enough to discuss it with Pretty Bride. Me: “So, do [...]
Dear Muskrat, You need a custom header. –The Figurehead Dear Figurehead, See above. And mind your own damned business. –Muskrat
