And that’s all I have to say about that.

Filed under: Gratuitously offensive, donkey punch | 10 Comments

Last weekend, Maddie’s preschool had some kind of singing celebration thing that involved their borrowing a church in midtown in the middle of the afternoon and singing songs of peace to honor MLK. The instructions sent home to parents said something like this: Children are encouraged to dress in a manner that honors their ethnic [...]

Filed under: Family, Gratuitously offensive | 18 Comments

Some Christmas presents are so great that they need to be re-gifted.  I may have given this gift a couple of years ago, but I want you, dear Internet, to get it again. And here it is – The coveted dick in a box.  You’re welcome.

Filed under: Gratuitously offensive, dick in a box, merry christmas | 19 Comments

So I get a “friend” request from some woman named Brooke Beamer on Facebook.  I click “ignore.” A week later (this evening), she requests my friendship again, but she adds this note: I’m not sure if this is the Mack I’m looking for. I’m looking for a friend from Camp Winnataska who has a sister [...]

Filed under: Gratuitously offensive, Neighborhood, facebook friends, i am the best neighbor ever, shit i couldn't make up if i tried, social media | 50 Comments

Maddie the Toddler turned 3 last weekend, so we decided to throw a “Three-esta” and invite all our neighbors with children (and a few without) for fun with quesadillas, a pinata, Fanta, and tequila. I even told everyone they could park in the front yard and wear wife-beater tank tops. Then I got really excited [...]

Filed under: Baby, Gratuitously offensive, Neighborhood, childrens parties, how to lose friends and offend people | 13 Comments