My neighbor just emailed this to me from his iphone. I added captions. I’m concerned.
Baby
the unartistic conception (and, a fisher price sex toy!)
Just look at this shit someone attached to our refrigerator. Apparently, I like to wear purple and blue britches on top of each other, like Punky Brewster or a homeless person, and I hop around all day on my giant johnson. Oh, and I’m pregnant. My bride has pink hair, […]
step away from the easel
My in-laws gave our 3-year-old daughter an art easel for Christmas. Most every day that the temperature is above 20 degrees, she wants to go onto the patio under our deck–the area she refers to as “my yard” (since it had grass up until a few months ago)– to paint. […]
desperately seeking schlong
On Friday, I saw my little 1-year-old take his first steps. I. Not We. Which was nice, because I was 8 timezones away when my little girl took hers. He’s gone back to scooting now, though. It fits his personality more to scoot along the ground on one hand and […]
things of which i am not a fan: god’s use of irony
Pretty Bride: “Can we take a walk?” Me: “Umm…I was going to go for a run. I feel like walking is sort of a waste of time for non-obese people who want to raise their heart rates to 85% max.” PB: “I just thought we should talk some and…” Me: […]
