a year in the life of an unexpected infant

The news of your unexpected conception produced cries of “What the hell are we going to do now?”

During Star Trek a year ago, you created contractions.  Despite learning you weren’t as far along as we thought, we refused to return home, and your mom and I paced the wooden floors of Emory Hospital all night while testing whether gravity and grit could conveniently force your little ass out on a weekend.

You came home and took up residence in our master bedroom’s closet while we continued trying to sell our house.  Morning after morning, I illuminated your little room with the iphone “flashlight” application as I ever-so-slowly and ever-so-quietly reached around your little bassinet (and later, pack-n-play) to pick out a suit from your right, a shirt and tie from your left, and–most challenging–a pair of heavily weighted by cedar “shoe trees” dress shoes from behind your head.

I held my breath as I carefully reached across your tiny sleeping figure in the dark below and prayed I’d avoid crushing your tender skull with the stainless steel shoe horn my father-in-law gave me last Christmas.

Good news, Lola.  You’re 1 year old today, and you still have your intact skull.

Even better news:  our house is under contract.  You might actually get a real bedroom in July.

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23 Responses to “a year in the life of an unexpected infant”

  1. Mrs. Hall says:

    Awesome!!!! Oh many, here’s hoping!

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @Mrs Hall, Thanks…fingers crossed through the inspection, appraisal, and financing contingencies!

    [Reply]

  2. Miss Britt says:

    And the good news is, just about anything from here on out will be an improvement for her!
    Miss Britt´s last blog post ..What I Didn’t Learn About Rejection From Metallica

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @Miss Britt, Yes, borrowing war within our country or terminal disease, anything will be an improvement to her quality of life from here!

    [Reply]

  3. Betty Fokker says:

    Well, she is an adorable little contraception failure! Congrats on selling the house and make sure her new bedroom has a nice window :0)

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @Betty, Thanks! We will ensure it.

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  4. Sybil Law says:

    What a cutie!! Happy Birthday to her!
    Also – congratulations on the house! :D

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @SL, Thanks so much…here’s hoping it goes through.

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  5. Congrats to Lola, and to her briefly unmortgaged parents.

    Little does she know what instruction and amusement are in store for her, in that new house, over the next couple of decades!
    The Honourable Husband´s last blog post ..Reliquary Its customary

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @HH, We hope to be mortgaged again soon.

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  6. Happy Birthday Lola and congrats on the house!

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @Nancy, Thanks…keeping fingers crossed over here.

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  7. Jason says:

    Congrats, Muskrat!
    The iPhone flashlight in the dark of the morning,….I’ve done that many a time.
    Keep snapping pics, dude. We look back as our ‘Lil Miss approaches 6 and area WAY happy we took all the pics and video we did. You can ALWAYS delete. You can’t create from nothing. Dig?

    Later,
    Jason
    Jason´s last blog post ..Fun With Facial Hair

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @Jason, Thanks! I take fewer than most parents do, but I try to get a few every month or so, at least.

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  8. Chrisy says:

    Happy first birthday to beautiful baby Lola, and congratulations on the house deal. It’s a good May! Hope we get to see photos of Lola’s new bedroom in July.
    Chrisy´s last blog post ..Following Her Lead

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @chrisy, Thanks! Let’s hope…

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  9. That is a great photo. I love it.
    Jack @ TheJackB´s last blog post ..I Am A Better Father Than You Are

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    muskrat Reply:

    @Jack, Thanks! I like it, too.

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  10. Faiqa says:

    Catching up here… congratulations. I still think putting your baby in the closet was brilliant. An act of genius, really.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @faiqa, Really? It works. But I wouldn’t call it “genius.”

    [Reply]

  11. Loukia says:

    She’s adorable.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @loukia, Thanks!

    [Reply]

  12. Avitable says:

    I fully support your child coming out of the closet.
    Avitable´s last blog post ..My interview with Caylee Anthony Yeah- the dead kid

    [Reply]

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