real estate fail

This is where our 2-month-old sleeps.  Because we can’t sell our house.

I’m thinking this will turn out well for her in later years, however.  Besides the obvious character building she’ll get from staying in a closet for the first several months years of her life, I can see the following scenarios down the road, too:

Tween Party Host:  Hey, let’s play ’60 seconds in the closet’!  Who’s game?
Lola:  I spent a large portion of my childhood in a closet.  It’s not that great.  Get lost, asshat.

Girl in Middle School:  Did you hear?  Lester came out of the closet last weekend!  I don’t think we should let him sit with us at lunch any more.
Lola:  I came out of the closet 10 years ago!  It’s hardly a reason to shun a friend, Madam Judge-A-Lot.

Young School Bus Rider:  I’m sort of a closet fan of the Twilight series.  Squeeeee!
Lola:  I wouldn’t characterize my fandom of anything as ‘closet,’ first of all.  Neither should you.  And second, why don’t you go buy a piece of intellectually stimulating non-fiction and, if you have enough cash left over, a clue!

See how I become Mr. Brightside?

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41 Responses to “real estate fail”

  1. Mrs. Hall says:

    meh. she’s tiny. perfect space for her size. plus, immigrant families have like 50 people per apartment. when I was a home health nurse, I use to go around tending to such populations. I would go into two bedroom apartments and find like, seven mattresses in the living room.

    builds character indeed. :)
    .-= Mrs. Hall´s last blog ..I never make fun of Battle Galactica =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @mrs hall, I have seen a few houses occupied by “immigrant families” that are like that. They tend to spend a lot of time in the yard.

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  2. Avitable says:

    Keep her in there until she’s at least two or three. Just think about how generous she’ll think you are when you give her her own room that’s 10 times the size! You’ll be the parents of the year.
    .-= Avitable´s last blog ..Monday Bullets =-.

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    Mrs. Hall Reply:

    oooOOOooo I second that thought!
    .-= Mrs. Hall´s last blog ..I never make fun of Battle Galactica =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @avitable, What a great idea! Maybe by then, we will have moved, too.

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  3. Dave2 says:

    Have you tried a half-price sale with free shipping? I’m a total sucker for half-price sales with free shipping!
    .-= Dave2´s last blog ..12-20- MYSTERY =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @dave2, Not yet, but we did drop the price by nearly $100k. I’ll look into that free shipping thing. Maybe we can arrange something.

    [Reply]

  4. Pretty Bride says:

    You might be forced to get rid of some of your fancy clothes in another six months–she won’t fit in that bassinette forever! Sorry, babe.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @PB, I need all 9 of those suits, dammit.

    [Reply]

  5. Miss Britt says:

    I wish I had a closet big enough to sleep in!
    .-= Miss Britt´s last blog ..Tiny Beds and Big Birthdays =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @miss britt, How ’bout you move to Atlanta, and you can have one for cheap!

    [Reply]

  6. Grant says:

    She has her own closet? You’re spoiling that kid. As a baby, I had a cardboard box.
    .-= Grant´s last blog ..Another Japanese Improvement =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @grant, That explains some things.

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  7. SciFi Dad says:

    Meh, that closet looks bigger than the room I had as a kid, and look how *I* turned out.
    .-= SciFi Dad´s last blog ..Why =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @scifi dad, Canadian? I’d better move her somewhere else asap!

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  8. She’s totally going in to retail. Girlfriend is gonna WORK the fashion circuit!
    .-= Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..Summer Doldrums =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @CM GD, Like Melanie Carmichael in “Sweet Home Alabama”? Sounds good!

    [Reply]

  9. Am I reading this correctly? Is the career trajectory for your youngest pointed to being some kind of hipster bus driver?

    Dick, let her at least reach for lunch lady.
    .-= Freaky Weasel´s last blog ..Bad Things usually- Balls in the Face =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @freaky weasel, Yes, that’s exactly what this means. Or, that she’ll be a kid in school in a few years.

    [Reply]

    Freaky Weasel Reply:

    You’ve got a lot if kids. Stands to reason one of them will choose an alternate path.

    I’m standing by bus driver, but it’ll keep her off the pole and off the pipe.

    Also, there were 6 of us in 1200 square feet and one bathroom. Look at how the Weasel brothers turned out.
    .-= Freaky Weasel´s last blog ..Bad Things usually- Balls in the Face =-.

    [Reply]

    Muskrat Reply:

    @FW, Really? Damn. You and the little brother I know are pretty cool. I can’t vouch for the rest of you people though.

  10. Wow, what are you going to do when you get up to 7 kids, then?
    .-= Swedish Skier´s last blog ..A follow up to the Grinch =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @swedish skier, Sue my urologist, of course!

    [Reply]

  11. jade says:

    ha..we kept our son in the bathroom when he was that age! …that way we couldn’t hear him crying!
    .-= jade´s last blog ..You Mean This is Illegal =-.

    [Reply]

    Muskrat Reply:

    @Jade, Cruel! Actually, that’s something I could do. I’ve been known to set her on the front porch when she’s crying; then I close the front door.

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    Pretty Bride Reply:

    I am quite certain this never happens when I am home. I shudder to think what takes place when I am away. Clearly the Muskrat is poorly trained.

    [Reply]

    jade Reply:

    …poorly trained or ‘un-trainable’? ;)
    .-= jade´s last blog ..You Mean This is Illegal =-.

  12. As long as the closet doesn’t flood I think it’s fine. Rooms are overrated anyway.
    .-= Carolyn Online´s last blog ..A conversation with my Blackberry =-.

    [Reply]

    Muskrat Reply:

    @Carolyn Online, Why’d you have to mention “the flood” again? Not cool.

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  13. My wife spent the first year of her life in the closet. She seems fine today for the most part.
    .-= Kevin(TheDADvocate)´s last blog ..Dadvocate Podcast Episode 12 – Real Authentic Men =-.

    [Reply]

    Muskrat Reply:

    @Kevin, Thanks for the encouragement!

    [Reply]

  14. That closet looks bigger than our first apartment. Lola should consider herself lucky.
    .-= unfinishedperson´s last blog ..Actually I can stand the rain after this week =-.

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    Muskrat Reply:

    @unfinishedperson, I asked her, and she doesn’t feel lucky at all.

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  15. Drew says:

    is there no space for kiddo plus crib in your bedroom? The kid’s going to grow up expecting an owl from hogwarts will arrive at any moment.

    [Reply]

    Muskrat Reply:

    @drew, There’s space, but she won’t sleep well in the room where we go in and out all day.

    [Reply]

  16. Faiqa says:

    This is the most brilliant thing I’ve ever heard of… I cannot believe I didn’t think of this first. Off to convert my children’s rooms into a day spa and library. Respectively. Or maybe a sewing room. I don’t sew, but one day I might.

    [Reply]

    Muskrat Reply:

    @faiqa, Knowing the company you keep in Orlando, that this is the “most brilliant thing you’ve ever heard of” is not surprising.

    I suggest you do all 3!

    [Reply]

  17. magpie says:

    My six year old tries to sleep in her own closet from time to time, of her own volition. Go figure.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @magpie, 6-year-olds are weird. At least, I was at 6.

    [Reply]

  18. [...] of in a bassinet in our closet, baby Lola now sleeps in a Pack N [...]

  19. [...] application as I ever-so-slowly and ever-so-quietly reached around your little bassinet (and later, pack-n-play) to pick out a suit from your right, a shirt and tie from your left, [...]

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