Guess what my father-in-law and his wife got us for Christmas? That’s right. A Snuggie! Perhaps you’ve seen the commercials during college football games and have considered getting one. Go ahead and take a few seconds to click on the link and watch the commercial. It’s quite enticing. And the men look so…manly in their Snuggies. Like they’re ready to expel tobacco juice into the nearby spittoon.
So, how is the Snuggie? NukeDad asked me on Twitter if it’s warm and makes me smile while reading a book. But of course! I twist that thermostat dial counter-clockwise as soon as I don the Snuggie, just like in the commercials. And I smile about it, because I know my Snuggie will protect me from the frigid climate found in my Mancave. In fact, I’m so damned happy to be wearing this faux monk robe that I grin when my Sweetwater 420 freezes in its bottle and becomes undrinkable. What do I care? I’m in a red Snuggie! I match my Mantuary’s walls! I coordinate with the crimson jerseys the University of Alabama football team wears as it travels downfield in high definition! And look how pious I am!
But here’s the thing. The Snuggie drapes across its wearer like a blanket (analogous to the way the Indigo Girls wear their fears), but it has sleeves like a robe. So, the Snuggie creates a false sense of security, as its wearer feels protected by a fully-covering garment, only there’s an open back.
Which brings me back to my Snuggie experience where I like to use it most: my Mantuary. The Mantuary features an Italian leather sofa, where I like to plop down in nothing but my Snuggie to watch the Tide.
And what of my tender Muskrat ass? It freezes, that’s what. My cold, chapped, and chafed ass.
I’m hoping to get some Snuggie pants for MLK Day.
You know what else makes a Muskrat feel all warm inside? Diesel from Mattress Police. Which is why Muskrat believes in tossing him some votes in the Best Humor Blog in the 2008 Weblog Awards. Everyone likes an underdog, right?