Guess what my father-in-law and his wife got us for Christmas? That’s right. A Snuggie! Perhaps you’ve seen the commercials during college football games and have considered getting one. Go ahead and take a few seconds to click on the link and watch the commercial. It’s quite enticing. And the men look so…manly in their Snuggies. Like they’re ready to expel tobacco juice into the nearby spittoon.
So, how is the Snuggie? NukeDad asked me on Twitter if it’s warm and makes me smile while reading a book. But of course! I twist that thermostat dial counter-clockwise as soon as I don the Snuggie, just like in the commercials. And I smile about it, because I know my Snuggie will protect me from the frigid climate found in my Mancave. In fact, I’m so damned happy to be wearing this faux monk robe that I grin when my Sweetwater 420 freezes in its bottle and becomes undrinkable. What do I care? I’m in a red Snuggie! I match my Mantuary’s walls! I coordinate with the crimson jerseys the University of Alabama football team wears as it travels downfield in high definition! And look how pious I am!
But here’s the thing. The Snuggie drapes across its wearer like a blanket (analogous to the way the Indigo Girls wear their fears), but it has sleeves like a robe. So, the Snuggie creates a false sense of security, as its wearer feels protected by a fully-covering garment, only there’s an open back.
Which brings me back to my Snuggie experience where I like to use it most: my Mantuary. The Mantuary features an Italian leather sofa, where I like to plop down in nothing but my Snuggie to watch the Tide.
And what of my tender Muskrat ass? It freezes, that’s what. My cold, chapped, and chafed ass.
I’m hoping to get some Snuggie pants for MLK Day.
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You know what else makes a Muskrat feel all warm inside? Diesel from Mattress Police. Which is why Muskrat believes in tossing him some votes in the Best Humor Blog in the 2008 Weblog Awards. Everyone likes an underdog, right?
I haven’t seen that arse since 1993. Hello old friend.
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I am officially traumatized. You could at least wear some chap underneath that thing.
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It’s the only hospital gown sanctioned by the Catholic church.
After re-watching seasons one and two of Big Love, CBR and I have decided that you are trying to compete with Bill Paxton’s Ass, which is the twelfth man of HBO television. From the front, you definitely look cult-ready. Do not bring the snuggie to my house. And bring your garments, or whatever it is you are in to these days.
Diesel, You’re welcome. And the term you’re looking for, I believe, is “dog blower.”
Maria, Um, thanks. And you can totally get two for $20.
Count Sneaky, I hadn’t considered it until just now. Consider me a playa.
PunkRockDad, Good to see you again! But I can’t resist the Snuggie cult.
Figurehead, I suppose it has been too long. You’re welcome.
BrentDiggs, I could wear some chaps, but why would I want to do such a thing?
Robski, That’s why the church needs more gowns.
VivaH’vegas, I’m not sure I can travel without the Snuggie, so you’re not in luck.
This just might be the most hilarious post I’VE EVER READ!!!
But I’m sure I want to borrow your Snuggie…now that I know you’ve been naked while wearing it….
OMG. I just saw that I forgot the word “not” in my comment. And in the most inappropriate place too!!!!!!!
What I meant to say was:
I’m NOT sure I want to borrow your Snuggie..now that I know you’ve been naked while wearing it!!
Not cool. Not cool. You got me with the crack shot. I ordered one of these for Christmas, but it was on back order for so long, I had to cancel it.
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Could have done without the ass cheeks…. but otherwise…. nicely done!
Wow, that’s more of Father Muskrat than I thought I’d see 😉
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This photo still makes me feel warm in my underdrawers. Maybe THIS is why we’re having a fourth baby: I blame the Snuggie.
HA HA!! I just fell into the blog known as fathermuskrat.com and this is what I stumbled upon in my travels. Fucking hilarious!
I’m a little sad that I just returned the Snuggie my MIL got me from Christmas. Had I known about the ability to put my bare ass on the couch, I may have kept it.
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@karen I’m so glad you could stop by and catch a glimpse.
OH my gosh. I was not expecting to see Muskrat ass. HAHA.. you have cahones, man.