To the folks who start blog entries or forwarded emails with, “This is long but worth the read” or “I apologize in advance for the length of this post,” I have a simple request of you: eat a dick. We’re smart enough to know within half a second that a post is long. All it takes is a quick glance. We can also determine for ourselves if it’s “worth it,” a “good read,” or even better, “well worth it.” Don’t feed us your crap opinion as a prelude to someone else’s crap opinion.
Come to think of it, do you really have to give us a preface at all? Does it make you feel good about yourself to show that you’ve already read something we ignorant masses have not? How does “Amen!” at the top of some rant you’ve copied and pasted from www.townhall.com contribute to the cultivation of my intellect? Oh yeah, it doesn’t.
My aunt sent me an email today saying Obama isn’t eligible to run for President, put in a preface at the top saying, “Since you’re a lawyer, I really wanted to get your opinion on this…,” and then CC’d 97 other people. I hit “reply all” and responded with a link to the snopes article declaring the story to be bullshit. Then I advised her not to believe anything that presents itself as fact with a subject line full of “Fwd” nomenclature. As in “Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Biden blows goats! CNN has pictures!” for example. I know the “reply all” trick is a dick move, but so is wasting someone’s time who bills by the tenth of an hour all day.
Consider this a lesson in time management and economy of effort. I’m here to help. Really.
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