how to blog with wit: a brief homage to the sabbatical-taking ominous comma

Since Brent asked me to post 5 humorous blogging tips a while back, I’ve chosen to finally do so today, since he’s taking a break for a bit.  Okay, he didn’t really ask me to submit these ideas.  I asked him if I could, and he made fun of my pink shirt.  Go ahead and look.  It’s in the comments below his post, left at 20:29:55on July 11.  Rat bastard.

After the tears dried, I picked myself up and wrote the following (below).  And, I drew a flex capacitor.

Here is the wisdom I’ve gleaned from a whopping 3 months:

1) write about poop.  Whether it’s in a sauna or on a phonebook, most people–especially parents–find poop funny.  Pictures are a little dicey, though.

2) write about balls.  Whether they’re for lunch or are giving off an offensive odor, many people–especially guys–find balls funny.  Pictures are a little risky, though.

3) use pictures.  If you’re short winded, it adds 1000 to your wordcount, and we all know Americans don’t read any more unless the book or newspaper has pictures.  So if you want American readers, include pics.

4) try to use good grammar.  Most of your audience will be bloggers.  Most bloggers like to write.  Most who like to write took several English classes and actually paid attention.  If you get “it’s” and “its” confused, the blogger readers will remember you as the dumbass who confused a contraction and a possessive, not how great your content is.

5) be a team player.  Join blogging communities.  Read the posts.  Get to know the writers.  Leave some comments.  Stephen King said in “On Writing” that if you don’t have time to read, you don’t have time to write.  The same is true for blogging.

If you like unsolicited advice on blogging, give props to Muskrat on this funny blog!

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  1. good hints, I shall remember. ‘speshly the grammer hint. I ‘spose gud spellin is niz two.

  2. …poop and balls jokes, eh? Yeah, Rickey’s good with his rusty trombone jokes, thank you very much.

    Nice quote from King by the way–definitely an idea that some HBers could benefit from.

  3. You forgot to tell guys to stay away from posting pictures of their manboobs. That’s a bigger turnoff than grammer.

  4. When you said “be a team player,” I thought you were going in a completely different direction. I mean–c’mon…you’d just mentioned balls 3 paragraphs above.

  5. Rickey, I would love to read more “rusty trombone” references from you! Can you play as well as that Dirty Sanchez feller?

    Meg, good point.

    Hypo One, I’m sorry. I’m sure there are many, many listservs that can meet your needs here, but I’m not your man.

  6. Excellent. You have risen the challenge in grand form. When I finish my sabbatical, I just may have to christen the event with a post on the joys of poop-balls.

  7. Love your tips! Amen to pictures.

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