Little Owen’s teacher, Emily, is moving away and won’t be his teacher for the next 2 years, like she was slated to do. Despite my first interaction with her being an email in which I claimed to have restraining orders against me for touching children inappropriately, I think she liked […]
What is that? A duck blind? Apparently, just before you die, your bushes start eating your windows. Aha! It’s a residence! Tame that bush, little shaver! 1-800-TAME-HER. There’s much left to do to the outside, such as painting, re-landscaping, replanting the grass, fixing cracks in the driveway, and replacing whatever […]
I try to categorize bad news as either: 1) a problem or 2) an expense. If it’s just the latter, I can bust my ass, file a bunch of lawsuits, and make the issue go away. But if it’s the former (or if the expense is…say…$20,000 or so), great weeping […]
I just finished closing on the house we’ve pursued for the past several months. It took 3.5 hours. There were the 6 amendments to compile and review from the past two months. There was the fact that the roofer has yet to be paid. And someone forgot to get a […]
Ever since we moved out of our small, 3-bedroom bungalow to a cramped, 4-bedroom ranch a few miles north, we’ve been looking for what our 5-year-old calls our “forever house” (in contrast to our current “in-between house”). I thought this would be a fun process, given the real estate dystopia […]
