I haven’t been particularly excited about leaving marketers’ “most coveted age bracket” (although this guy thinks the boomers are changing that). I like knowing companies spend millions of dollars trying to figure out how to please me and how to catch my attention. It’s like dating a Rockefeller.
But not any more. Tomorrow I hit 35. No longer lumped with the 20-somethings. No longer able to tell people “early 30s.”
So, I’ve been trying to curb the effects of aging by refusing to act my age.
Per these clips discovered by local law enforcement on an abandoned iphone in Buckhead, I’ve been encouraging fellow distinguished members of the GA bar to engage in strange behavior involving poles and microphones:
Make that “formerly distinguished.”
I found signs of abuse the next day on my legs and back: indicia that this activity was not without danger:
If ever there were iron clad proof that this behavior was not voluntary, this is decidedly it. Awful:
I like how the dude in the glasses doesn’t even know where the screen showing the lyrics is. It’s like he’s channeling Bret Michaels:
And if ever there were evidence of crossing into the “mid 30s,” it’s breaking out the Biz Markie:
I’m hoping to leave the office at lunchtime to do something I didn’t do a single time during my 34th year: go to the movie theater. I’ve missed it.
Hell, maybe I’ll get a senior discount.
That Muskrat is so hot right now.
.-= Dave2´s last blog ..2012 =-.
@Dave2, And that Dave is so cold. So cold.
As a marketer, let me tell you that you’re still plenty coveted. Baby boomers are in hock. Gen X ain’t.
Of course, the Muskrat may be coveted for other reasons, but I suspect they’re personal.
.-= headbang8´s last blog ..Photo Friday: Family =-.
@headbang8, Really??? Outstanding! And, there are thousands of reasons to covet the Muskrat.
Happy Birthday, Padre. Enjoy old age.
(Did you remember your metamucil this morning?)
.-= SciFi Dad´s last blog ..Anecdotes From The Weekend =-.
@SciFi Dad, I did remember it–I thought: “I wonder if SciFi Dad took his fiber supplement today?”
You’re a fun boy! Happy Birthday! When you get older, the brackets get longer. I keep waiting to move into the next age bracket for races so I can put the hurt on the old [er] gals. They keep moving it back.
Keep singing, and pole dancing. That’ll keep you young. Have a great day with your gorgeous family!
.-= Chris´s last blog ..On Turning 44 =-.
@Chris, Thanks! Maybe if I were athletic like you, I’d notice race brackets.
Now you can call those of us in the better age bracket “whippersnappers”.
.-= Avitable´s last blog ..Why I Love Father Muskrat =-.
@avitable, Or I could just continue to call y’all “turds.”
34 is officially mid-30’s, so you’ve been living a lie for the past year. You can atone by telling everyone you’re in your late 30’s for the next year, or by giving me bunny.
.-= Grant´s last blog ..New bloggy direction =-.
@grant, Bunny was at the karaoke party, but I failed to capture her on video, which to you, means I failed altogether. Sorry.
Remember when we used to get bruises from wild sex?
.-= Miss Britt´s last blog ..This oil spill? Not BP’s fault. Not really. =-.
@miss britt, Um, I don’t remember ever having wild sex with you, no.
Crap, now I’m depressed that this is my last year as a “young person.” Although I already failed because I had to search to find what channel MTV was last night. Happy birthday.
.-= Hockeymandad´s last blog ..Perfect Laziness =-.
@hockeymandad, Not knowing where MTV is, I believe, a good sign.
HBD! welcome to the party! heres a handful of denial from my personal stash.
.-= leel´s last blog ..sunday funday =-.
@leel, Thanks…I like it already.
I still covet you. Even though I know where you keep all your wrinkly bits.
@PB, Only because you’re not in advertising, right?
I will hate when I have to check the box 35-old, for now I can still say I’m somewhere between 25-34! YES!
.-= jade´s last blog ..“Cup Holder” =-.
@jade, Enjoy it while it lasts…
what happened to ‘bitch. be cool.’? could’ve sworn you said that to me…you’re just trying to make me think I’m losing my mind! ugh.
.-= jade´s last blog ..“Cup Holder” =-.
@jade, I’m sure I did at some point…maybe on your blog. I like to quote Samuel L Jackson characters whenever I can.
.-= Fran´s last blog ..Finally, the Outdoor Kitchen! =-.
Happy belated birthday….I would write more but I’m pretty delirious right now…3rd shift FTW.
.-= Amber Lee´s last blog ..Aguatero Industries =-.
@amber, Oh my…please don’t drive home. Thanks!
I don’t know how much alcohol was involved but I’m guessing it was a *LOT*.
Did you get any tips stuffed in your…whatever…for pole dancing?
@countessa, Yes, your hunch is correct. I don’t believe I received any tips that time. But the first trick is always for free.
You’re still just a baby Muskrat. A baby with a propensity to sing Wild Thing in public.
.-= Carolyn Online´s last blog ..Summer 2010 is afoot. =-.
@carolyn online, That’s exactly how I prefer to think about my stage of life.
Mourning for going into the 35 year old bracket! Give me a break! What till you hit the half century spot – then I’ll have some sympathy.
How’s the baby? How’s PB?
@crazymomtats, I don’t plan to be around that long. They’re doing well…she’s more high maintenance than the others were, but she does sleep better at night, which is KEY. Thanks for asking–hope you’re well!
I’m kind of turned on right now after seeing you work that pole.
.-= Amanda A´s last blog ..Pretty Little Liars =-.