Last Sunday, when I went to pick up Toddler from the church nursery, the room monitor seemed excited for me to hear something she had to say (apparently, she’d been saying it to every other parent who came to pick up his/her child).  So, I squatted down to Toddler’s level to see the black piece of construction paper on which she’d colored a crescent moon with yellow chalk.  Then, she said, “God made–the dark!  See?  God made (pause) the dark!”  Grownups smiled.  Toddler smiled.  She handed me her proud creation.

When we got home, I carefully put her prized picture in the special place where I’ve kept all her other Sunday morning and preschool drawings–our master bathroom’s trashcan.  I grew up with a packrat mother; while I may have similarities with other members of the rodent family, the packrat isn’t one of them.

A few minutes later, Toddler went into our master bathroom to use her little potty.

Toddler:  “Oh no, Daddy!”
What Toddler Meant:  “You asshole!”

She pulled her drawing out of the trash and handed it to me.

“Here, Daddy.”

Being the sentimental father I am, I naturally waited until she was asleep and tossed in into the kitchen trashcan.  It has a lid.

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  1. avatgardener

    Preschooler’s pretty picture presented. Papa proud. Potential pack-rat peeved, pitches.
    Piddler petulantly purloins previously pitched picture. Papa procrastinates.
    Possible Picasso planted with pampers, pits, pulp, putrid-ness.

  2. Pretty Bride

    Well said, AG. PB is impressed!

  3. Excellent philosophy on dumping that which is trash, no matter how cute or sentimental it may be to packrat parents. These “creations” are pretty much the results of teachers keeping their charges busy for a few minutes with some basic art supplies. What? You can’t believe that your kid, grandkid, niece, nephew, is capable of making something so grand out of construction paper and crayon, so you have to keep it, treasure it, and worst of all, share it with others?? A true artist will eventually emerge regardless of Miss Walton’s lesson plan. If a toddler ever does produce a world-class objet d’art to rival Michelangelo that’s worth saving, we’ll all put copies on our refrigerator doors, watch the interviews with Matt Lauer in the morning and Letterman that night. She’ll undoubtedly host and then hosting SNL next weekend. Muskrat’s spot-on, get rid of that stuff, and make sure there’s a lid.

  4. I never learned how to draw well or even use construction paper as a key tool in my career, but I obviously didn’t learn how to write none too good neither. That SNL sentence is totally screwed but you get my drift, I hope.

  5. AvatG, LOL…great comment.

    Bill S, Thanks for the affirmation, and I knew what you meant!

  6. Oh my! I’ve been there – I try to save the cool stuff like when they write a story about their family or like a family drawing but good lord you can’t save everything!

  7. you’ll burn in hell!

  8. What a jerk.

    Man. My Brother from Unfinished Ramblings was right. You’re a jerk.

    OK. So he never said this. I was trying to start a blog war. I’m sorry. I confess.

    Still. I think you’re a jerk.


    Not really.

  9. Pingback: count the grammatical errors- fun for a girl or a boy! «

  10. jailbird, thanks for the support!

    harlin, LOL. perhaps. but at least i won’t have any crap drawings providing kindling.

    jonnymommy, or should i say “instigator”? you can’t break apart the love unfinishedrambler and i have for one another. wait, did i just type that?

  11. You rotten father you! Someday when she’s 16 she’ll realize you didn’t save a single one of her amazing works of art and then the shit will hit the fan and she’ll punish you for the rest of your life. But till then, enjoy! lol

  12. Bill, Thanks a lot. I hope you’re a lousy prophet.

  13. As I’ve said before, start that therapy fund now.

  14. Pingback: Father Muskrat » count the grammatical errors- fun for a girl or a boy!

  15. Pingback: through a toddler’s lens | Father Muskrat

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