10.07busted!
Last Sunday, when I went to pick up Toddler from the church nursery, the room monitor seemed excited for me to hear something she had to say (apparently, she’d been saying it to every other parent who came to pick up his/her child). So, I squatted down to Toddler’s level to see the black piece of construction paper on which she’d colored a crescent moon with yellow chalk. Then, she said, “God made–the dark! See? God made (pause) the dark!” Grownups smiled. Toddler smiled. She handed me her proud creation.
When we got home, I carefully put her prized picture in the special place where I’ve kept all her other Sunday morning and preschool drawings–our master bathroom’s trashcan. I grew up with a packrat mother; while I may have similarities with other members of the rodent family, the packrat isn’t one of them.
A few minutes later, Toddler went into our master bathroom to use her little potty.
Toddler: “Oh no, Daddy!”
What Toddler Meant: “You asshole!”
She pulled her drawing out of the trash and handed it to me.
“Here, Daddy.”
Being the sentimental father I am, I naturally waited until she was asleep and tossed in into the kitchen trashcan. It has a lid.
Preschooler’s pretty picture presented. Papa proud. Potential pack-rat peeved, pitches.
Piddler petulantly purloins previously pitched picture. Papa procrastinates.
Possible Picasso planted with pampers, pits, pulp, putrid-ness.
Posts.
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October 8th, 2008 at 8:03 AM
Well said, AG. PB is impressed!
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October 8th, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Excellent philosophy on dumping that which is trash, no matter how cute or sentimental it may be to packrat parents. These “creations” are pretty much the results of teachers keeping their charges busy for a few minutes with some basic art supplies. What? You can’t believe that your kid, grandkid, niece, nephew, is capable of making something so grand out of construction paper and crayon, so you have to keep it, treasure it, and worst of all, share it with others?? A true artist will eventually emerge regardless of Miss Walton’s lesson plan. If a toddler ever does produce a world-class objet d’art to rival Michelangelo that’s worth saving, we’ll all put copies on our refrigerator doors, watch the interviews with Matt Lauer in the morning and Letterman that night. She’ll undoubtedly host and then hosting SNL next weekend. Muskrat’s spot-on, get rid of that stuff, and make sure there’s a lid.
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October 8th, 2008 at 12:06 PM
I never learned how to draw well or even use construction paper as a key tool in my career, but I obviously didn’t learn how to write none too good neither. That SNL sentence is totally screwed but you get my drift, I hope.
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October 8th, 2008 at 12:17 PM
AvatG, LOL…great comment.
Bill S, Thanks for the affirmation, and I knew what you meant!
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October 8th, 2008 at 12:21 PM
Oh my! I’ve been there – I try to save the cool stuff like when they write a story about their family or like a family drawing but good lord you can’t save everything!
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October 8th, 2008 at 2:25 PM
you’ll burn in hell!
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October 9th, 2008 at 7:27 AM
What a jerk.
Man. My Brother from Unfinished Ramblings was right. You’re a jerk.
OK. So he never said this. I was trying to start a blog war. I’m sorry. I confess.
Still. I think you’re a jerk.
:–)
Not really.
[Reply]
October 9th, 2008 at 12:34 PM
[...] About Muskrat ← busted! [...]
October 9th, 2008 at 8:42 PM
jailbird, thanks for the support!
harlin, LOL. perhaps. but at least i won’t have any crap drawings providing kindling.
jonnymommy, or should i say “instigator”? you can’t break apart the love unfinishedrambler and i have for one another. wait, did i just type that?
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October 9th, 2008 at 8:54 PM
You rotten father you! Someday when she’s 16 she’ll realize you didn’t save a single one of her amazing works of art and then the shit will hit the fan and she’ll punish you for the rest of your life. But till then, enjoy! lol
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October 11th, 2008 at 7:39 PM
Bill, Thanks a lot. I hope you’re a lousy prophet.
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October 11th, 2008 at 8:28 PM
As I’ve said before, start that therapy fund now.
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October 16th, 2008 at 11:22 AM
[...] This morning, one of the attorneys in my section left our office, leaving the rest of us in collective misery as we scrambled to reply to Motions for Summary Judgment, Motions in Limine, Motions for Lotion, the Locomotion, etc. Consequently, we weren’t exactly singing Loraine’s praises today. Especially when I realized I’d be in my office most of the weekend instead of home throwing away Toddler’s artwork. [...]
November 30th, 2008 at 2:30 PM
[...] sauce?) from the refrigerator, Maddie’s finger again, and some of Maddie’s shitty art from Sunday School, held on by a Country Music Hall of Fame magnet from a Nashville giftshop, a New York magnet from a [...]
January 20th, 2009 at 9:41 PM