count the grammatical errors- fun for a girl or a boy!

This morning, one of the attorneys in my section left our office, leaving the rest of us in collective misery as we scrambled to reply to Motions for Summary Judgment, Motions in Limine, Motions for Lotion, the Locomotion, etc.  Consequently, we weren’t exactly singing Loraine’s praises today.  Especially when I realized I’d be in my office most of the weekend instead of home throwing away Toddler’s artwork.

So, in the spirit of animosity, frustration, and snobbery, I’ll provide the email “auto response” she left about 23 seconds before taking off.  I figure it’ll entertain my readers on Friday by letting them count the grammatical errors in this presumably repeatedly reread and re-edited message.  I count four.  Feel free to point out problems in the comments.  Or not.  I posted this to make myself feel better, not you.

I have resigned as Associate Counsel for Bendem Over & Bill LLP.  All of my cases have been reassigned to other attorney’s in the office.  If your case needs immediate attention, the receptionist at our law firm can tell you who the case has been reassigned to. Her telephone number is 800-UPYOURS.

All clients and opposing counsel will be receiving an updated notice of representation regarding the new attorney assigned to your respective case.

To find a bastion of badly placed apostrophes, check out these funny blogs!

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  1. avatgardener

    (you make this so easy for me!!)

    Loraine Lams, leaving litigators lamenting lost liberty. Lotsa little lessons.


    Retched and revealing redundantly ridiculous resignation rambling riles ‘rat. Rants.

  2. wow, I’d like to see her new comp package! Must be very generous. Burn those bridges baby, burn, burn!

  3. She did that without notice? That’s pretty shitty. Although it reads like her clients will be better off.

  4. I count four too. Unless I give myself two points for rearranging the offending “to”, then five. Et tu?
    PS – My attorney’s attorney represents attorneys only, becoming the attorneys’ choice.
    PPS – Thanks, Loraine, for your donation to Muskrat’s scathing style today … and good luck in your next position when this blog post shows up there too!

  5. Not a grammatical error, but she stressed out the time-space continuum by stating both that she had resigned (an act in the past) and that there was still a receptionist at a firm she could claim as her own (present) who was available to answer questions.

    Lawyers have superpowers. Or so my wife says.

  6. Hi Backpacking Dad, You’re right about our special powers (or your wife is). Dr Brown in Hill Valley would be impressed.

    Bill, Good find(s)! And, good use of plurals there. Since she’s at a competitor firm, it’s fine for her to stay.

    Avitable, I believe you’re right.

    Harlin, It’s like a disco inferno ’round here.

    AvatG, I like the “r” version. Good stuff!

  7. Pingback: Father Muskrat » pat lost 65 cents on fruit snacks. mac lost $500 at the dog track.

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