I’m excited to report the following simultaneous events going on downtown this weekend:
1) Black Gay Pride weekend: a time for men and women of color who enjoy the companionship of their own gender and race to gather, celebrate, and, I hope, carouse.
2) Dragon*Con: a gathering for science fiction nerds allowing them to dress up like their favorite characters and parade around town. There will be much comparing of 8-sided dice.
3) Alabama v. Clemson football game: Does this need an explanation? A rural school in Alabama is playing a rural school in South Carolina.
The interstate that bisects midtown and downtown Atlanta is under construction, so all media outlets are encouraging taking MARTA to get into town for these events, which means that these folks will be thrown together on railcars all day Saturday, breathing one another’s air and sharing plastic seats.
And a Clemson fan watching the stormtroopers:
Toddler Muskrat was not impressed:
I decided the action was in the Georgia Dome, so I went on Craigslist and responded to this offer:
I have 2 tickets to the Clemson v. Alabama game on the Clemson side. They are upper level tickets Row 8! Please let me know as soon as possible if interested. Two tickets are $375.
e-mail me at email@example.com
I am from Atlanta so am willing to meet with the tickets.
I made an offer and received this assurance: I still have 2 tickets if you need them… so call at. It is first come first serve!
I made definitive plans to meet Meggie just outside the Dome, stood around for 2hrs in the heat with my 7-month pregnant wife, pursuant to our plans. About an hour before kickoff, I got this text from phone number 404-394-3629: Im so sorry I can’t find u and im in the game…
I had to call her father to find out she’d sold the tickets to someone else and decided not to answer my calls. I wrote her a text back: I hope one day if you’re 7mos pregnant, someone makes you stand around in the heat for 2hrs for nothing.
And I meant it. So, the first of a new series of “eat a dick” posts on this blog goes to Meggie from Alpharetta, GA. Eat a dick, you inconsiderate bitch.
When I started this blog, I told myself I wouldn’t use it to rant. Now look what you made me do.
To read posts from less vindictive writers, check out this funny blog! Rate Muskrat favorably if you too dislike being stood up by inconsiderate college students who use bad grammar in text messages.