still in booty camp

Will this harmonica end up in a toilet or my pants?  I’ll never tell.

I called on my way home from work after the first day of Owen’s blitzkrieg potty training to ask what was for dinner and got something like, “Whatever you fucking bring home or can find, ok?” from my sweet, patient bride.  Apparently, it was a more challenging than average day.

After the second day, I talked to the little guy about his progress.  He’d skipped his nap and was hardly coherent, but he did give a little bit of insight into where to deposit his waste:

Today was day 3, and while he’s learned pretty well to pee in the little plastic thing that looks like either a green frog or a red miniature toilet, he has yet to shit anywhere but his underpants.  We’ve decided this is “close enough” and are going to send him to his big sister’s Montessori school Monday regardless.

Incidentally, we have a pool party Saturday, so what better practice ground is there for controlled defecation than someone ELSE’S swimming pool?  Encourage the torpedoes!  Or something.

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  1. Do you know if they make Froggy Potty in adult sizes? Because, I gotta tell ya, the big fun associated with taking a shit has long since worn off, and I’m looking for a way of making it exciting again.*

    *Well, in a way that fits in my budget.

    • @Dave2, I don’t know that they do, but you can always set it on a high surface–like a chair, for instance, and see if your ass will fit on there! Make sure you write about it when you do.

  2. Pretty Bride

    At last! Unfiltered reality around here–that is totally almost word-for-word what I said. It was a hard day. No shit. Literally.

  3. Hopefully any good preschool worth their salt won’t bitch at you, and will instead try to just help the process along.

  4. Dave2 and I think entirely too much alike!
    Owen is soooo cute!!!

  5. Montessori school eh . . . so fancy! guess regular school just isn’t good enough for the muskrat kids!


  6. My mother did, “Potty training in one day” with me. I think that was one of the few times that my mother was seriously considering killing me.

  7. Things I don’t miss: Non-housebroken children.
    But your son is ridiculously cute. Looks like the wife, I take it?

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