children

booty camp*

This arrived in the mail this evening, as our 2-year-old boy has to learn to use the shitter this week, or we’re out a few thousand dollars in preschool tuition that we started paying this summer.

I tried to pawn the task off on my mother before dropping the kids off at their house before we left for BlogHer.  She laughed out loud and said something about “just desserts.”

Me:  What?  What does that even mean?  My younger brother and I piss in the correct place most of the time.  I figure you can help us out with our only boy, who has showed zero interest in refraining from soiling himself.
Mom
:  I didn’t train you!  I dumped you at my parents’ house and let my mother do it when you were about to start preschool!
Me
:  So…you don’t know how to potty train a boy, either, then?
Mom
:  Nope.  But I guess we can try while y’all are gone…
Me
:  Forget it.  I’d rather give him an intense, structured few days of instruction instead of a half ass few days with y’all, in between afternoons of watching more TV that we’d allow and eating questionable food products we wouldn’t allow.

And so it begins.  Tomorrow morning.

*FCC disclosure:  I didn’t get jack shit for free; this program cost over $100!  But if it works, I’ll gladly type its praises.

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16 Comments

  1. Dude, if that works, I will order it! My son 2.5 shows NO interest whatsoever…he doesn’t even want to be changed. UGH!

    Keep me posted and Good Luck!

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @Karen, Thanks so much! Good seeing you again in Cali.

    [Reply]

  2. Oh dang…I forgot that’s part of parenting. Good luck :/

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @amber-lee, And not exactly a fun part.

    [Reply]

  3. I potty trained my 2 boys so I feel your pain. Good luck!

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @DrLori, Thanks! Any tips? No? Dammit.

    [Reply]

    Mrs. Hall Reply:

    having a friend with three boys, having one 4 year old boy myself, and having had a brother and still having a husband . . potty training boys take longer. It took like forever to train Mac.

    It was a matter of getting tough and pottying him every two hours . . . against his will if necessary. Then . . when we would send him to daycare, there wouldn’t be tough, he’d give toddler tude and they would back off. Then, they’d bitch to us about the accidents!!

    so. . . at age 3 (he’s four now), he was finally trained during the day. he pee trained first, poopy later. i don’t know how many pairs of thomas the train underwear I washed out in the toilet. GAAAHHH.

    he still wears a pull up at night but screw it. night time will take a while. my brother wet the bed until he was like 10. which totally made me jealous. cause he would get all these stickers and prizes for a dry night. and get special trips to out of town doctors. what finally cured him was a sensor alarm that hooked up to his underwear. it would howl when wet.

    OK SO THERE YA GO. that’s all i got on the subject.

    rock on Father Muskrat!!

    [Reply]

  4. You should send him with my mom – she did it easily! But best of luck!

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @Sybil Law, I would LOVE to do that. Where does she live? I’ll pay cash even.

    [Reply]

  5. Then there is my kid who would NOT poop on a toilet until almost 4 and I tried everything. Even now it is VERY difficult to convince her to go anywhere but home. Incredibly frustrating!!

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @Heather, I was perfectly content to wait past 3, but Montessori school requires it. And I don’t want to lose the tuition we’ve paid!

    [Reply]

  6. That program looks… hardcore.
    When my kid was two, I told her I’d give her fifty bucks to stopping crapping in her pants. Worked like a charm. Now, she threatens to drop trou and poop on my desk if I don’t pay her off.
    Didn’t expect that.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @Didactic Pirate, You know what? You’re hard core! And you can’t fault your progeny for being shrewd.

    [Reply]

  7. Three days? Dude, if that works you gotta share it.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @SFD, We’ll see. This post is “to be continued…” like Batman.

    [Reply]

  8. Pingback: still in booty camp | The Muskrat

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