Maddie: Why did you say “shit,” Daddy?
Me: I didn’t…I said “shoot.”
Maddie: Shit!
Me: Shoot! It was shoot! We don’t say the other word.
Maddie: Then why did you say shoot?
Me: Because I parked in the wrong place…somewhere I wasn’t supposed to park.
Maddie: Daddy can’t park!
Me: Yeah, I’m a shitty parker. I mean. Shooty? Hell.  Don’t tell anyone about this conversation, ok?

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  1. This is why I don’t censor myself. I’d suck at it no matter how hard I tried. 🙂

  2. Niiice. Can’t park OR parent.

    • @SF Dad, I’ve never tried to park well…I just don’t care that much (though I’m an outstanding parallel parker, ironically). As for parenting, this particular instance, I really avoided the profanity (at first).

  3. Kind of makes you nervous about the potential of a “fudge” incident.

  4. I don’t curse in front of kids. Grown ups, though? I don’t give a fuck.
    Also, I periodically ask my daughter to tell me all the bad words she knows. So far, “crap” is the cap. So far.

  5. yeah. my kids will pick up on all the phrases i say. like ‘you’ve got to be kidding me!” I hear them say that all the time. sometimes they say “Dammit All!” only one place they here that. (blushes)

    o btw- a photo of Sgt. Hall up on my blog. Complete with F-16 in the background 🙂

  6. All I heard in my head when I read this was Cartman saying “Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck – who’s it hurting?”.

    If you act like the swearing is a big deal, then the kids will make a big deal out of it, too. When I was still a nanny, one afternoon I let the kids cuss all they wanted to for 5 solid minutes (and I timed it) and then it wasn’t a big deal any more. We didn’t have any more swearing issues after that.

    And it’s easy for me to give advice since I have no children of my own so there’s that. 🙂

  7. My kids learned all the swear words in the car. That’s where I learned them. It’s just a part of life. Those words will never go away unless we stop driving.

  8. I hope child services knows about you. We can’t have that sort of bad behavior being passed onto another generation. I’m talking about the bad parking, of course.

  9. That’ll teach you to shoot your mouth off.

  10. Just let me talk to her, and then you can blame her sailor mouth on me.

  11. We’ve been trying really hard not to say ‘fuck’ around the kids because I don’t want the older one wandering around saying ‘fuck’ this and ‘fuck’ that. So we’ve replaced ‘fucking’ with ‘bloody’, which, to American ears, sounds a bit less trashy. This weekend? “Mama, give me some bloody cake!”

  12. Shit and idiot are words my children use quite often and I can’t really stop them, as much as I try.

    First of all, to hear a two year old say shit is really kind of adorable and it doesn’t help that I say that word 100,000 times a day. I feel AWFUL but really… they’re great kids. And well behaved. And they don’t use those words to other people. Only shut-up. And I’m okay with that too.

    Shit, I sound like a bad-ass mom! My kids are perfect angels! NEVER MIND THIS COMMENT.

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