Maddie: Why did you say “shit,” Daddy?
Me: I didn’t…I said “shoot.”
Me: Shoot! It was shoot! We don’t say the other word.
Maddie: Then why did you say shoot?
Me: Because I parked in the wrong place…somewhere I wasn’t supposed to park.
Maddie: Daddy can’t park!
Me: Yeah, I’m a shitty parker. I mean. Shooty? Hell. Don’t tell anyone about this conversation, ok?