is it just me, or is this lawyer a total dick?


A female security guard was raped and is suing the location in which the incident occurred.  Naturally, I’m defending the company that insures the business she’s suing.

Today, I talked to her attorney about scheduling a deposition in Knoxville (incidentally, if I have any Knoxville readers who want to get together for a beer immediately after this event, I will SO BE GAME), and the son of a bitch said the following:

Plaintiff’s attorney:  “You know, if this were a guy who’d been abducted by three girls, and he confided in a friend about what just happened to him, his friend would be like, ‘Now where did this happen?  What time?’  I guess women are different.”


Plaintiff’s attorney:  “I mean, if you left the Hooters and got attacked by 3 of the Hooters girls…”

Me:  “Maybe you should tell your client that’s how you feel, so that, you know, she can fire you and drop her lawsuit?  It’d make my job pretty easy.”

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  1. Are you telling me that you are an attorney for Hooters?! Were are the VIP cards for us?

    Anyway…he is an ass and I think that it’ll all go away.

    Good luck.

    BedsideTalesMan’s last blog post..Time to Shop Someplace Else

  2. Of course it’s not just you– that’s depressing, and if only she knew who she was dealing with.

    I hope he’s at least a decent enough lawyer to get her the justice she’s owed, despite his pathetic personal feelings.

    LiteralDan’s last blog post..Tossin’ around the ol’ groundhogskin

  3. And this is why I have a massive Litigious Rodent crush – calling dude on his BS instead of sinking down with him.

  4. If I had known this is the kind of fun you have as a lawyer I would have went to law school.

    Chris C’s last blog post..Global Warming Humor Guide

  5. So of course after I send the email, this page loads.

    Dude is an asshole of the highest order. Seriously.

    SciFi Dad’s last blog post..An Open Letter

  6. You should have asked him what if he got attacked by three Roseanne types.

    prefers her fantasy life’s last blog post..Just What The Doctor Ordered–A Bit of Celebrity Stalking

  7. Rape is no laughing matter unless you’re raping a clown.

    Avitable’s last blog post..Blowjob imitator

  8. If anyone deserves a big old fist in the cocoa bumper, it’s this guy. What an absolute jack hole.

    Catherinette Singleton’s last blog post..What’s the Excel Formula for Cocoa Bumper?

  9. What an ass.

    Mama Dawg’s last blog post..Super Fun Sunday!

  10. Unbelievable. It’s one thing to think it, it takes an entirely different animal to actually say it. Yikes

  11. Like Prefers Her Fantasy Life’s comment, and up the ante with three very big, very smelly guys.

    Ora’s last blog post..Just About the Weather

  12. What would be really shocking would be if the plaintiff’s attorney was a woman.

    Carolyn Online’s last blog post..It’s the dream that pulls it all together.

  13. asshat. dickwad. assface. fucktard.


    ChurchPunkMom’s last blog post..We don’t eat fingers…. jus’ sayin’..

  14. Wow. You may have to change your blog tag line “sometimes I say things that are inappropriate.” While I might not know you all that well, you have yet to say anything that tops this lawyer.

    raven-smiles’s last blog post..My Adventure in the Snow Wednesday

  15. Just think!

    In about two years, you can laugh at this while you’re thinking about how generically stupid bigot-minded folks were “back in the day”.

    Either that, or you’ll be loading up the shotgun on your way to go thin the ranks of the mentally challenged..

    Whatever happens, it’ll still be fun, don’t you think?

    Jormengund’s last blog post..Confessional

  16. Wow. Just…wow.

    Sherri’s last blog post..Photo Post: Snow. Not Just For Kids.

  17. No. It is not just you. He is a dick.

    Lisa’s last blog post..What do I want to be when I grow up?

  18. I don’t even understand his joke…..what a tool.

    Matt’s last blog post..A little over the top, or reason number 9 why you shouldn’t shop at the Walmarts

  19. a total goatwhore

    Unfortunate Names’s last blog post..Welcome To San Francisco!

  20. lol! Please tell me this isn’t true!! 🙂

    Kirsten’s last blog post..Rock of Love, You Dirty Rat!

  21. I thought all lawyers were total dicks? When I first started school I was going to be a lawyer. I don’t know what changed, but I still think it would be good fun. I nearly took a job as a trainee patent attorney down here, but they were paying shit and expected 60 plus hours a week while I passed the exams. No thank you.

    A Free Man’s last blog post..Are you human or a dud?

  22. If this goes to trial make sure to let me know. I wanna be there to watch you shred this asshole to pieces.

    Jeff’s last blog post..Only in Minnesota

  23. Bedside Tales, Oh how I wish I represented Hooters. Maybe next year.

    LiteralDan, Thanks for the affirmation.

    Countessa, Thanks! I have a crush on me, too.

    Chris C, It ain’t too late!

    SciFiDad, Glad you agree, too.

    PrefersFantasyLive, Next time, I just may!

    Avitable, LOL…raping a clown is quite funny.

    Catherinette, “fist in the cocoa bumper?” That’s aesome.

    MommaDog, I think all here are in agreement with you.

    NotAfraidToUseIt, He just wasn’t afraid to say it.

    Ora, I’d love to see that.

    CarolynOnline, Now that would be funny!

    ChurchPunkMom, Wow, I think that’s the filthiest language I’ve ever heard you use!

    Raven-Smiles, Maybe I can ask him to do a guest post or 2?

    Jormengund, I laugh at him already. Why wait 2 years?

    Sherri, Wow indeed.

    Lisa, Glad others agree.

    Matt, I don’t know that he was joking.

    UnfortunateNames, “Goatwhore.” Now that’s a putdown.

    Kirsten, It’s true. I’m not creative enough to make my stories up.

    FreeMan, Feel free to come to the Atl and enroll! I’ll write you a rec letter and everything.

    Jeff, I sorta doubt it will, actually. I take her deposition in a couple weeks, and I’m pretty sure we’re going to end up settling. I feel sorry for the plaintiff and sorta hate the idea of putting her through a trial. But if her lawyer wants to be unreasonable, we’ll go anyway.

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