the second friday confessional: she kissed a girl

My first customer participant in the Friday confessional is supposed to be anonymous, but, looking through this screen, it appears to be…yes…it sounds like… Bee?

Bee:  Back in my youth, I, like Katy Perry, kissed a girl and I liked it.  What should my penance be, Father Muskrat?*

FM:  Wait.  Are you talking about this Katy Perry?

Bee:  Is there another one?

FM:  I…is it hot in this booth?  These robes just don’t breathe for shit nearly as well as synthetic fibers should.  Did your boyfriend mind it?  I mean, did you like it?

Bee:  I already told you.  I liked it.

FM:  Oh my.  Are there any pictures?  I mean, little pitchers–were there any?  Did any children see you?  Cause I’d hate to have to force you to wear a millstone around the neck.

Bee:  It was in my youth, as I said.  No children.  Just…passion.  And two smooth faces with soft lips, touching one another.

FM:  You don’t mind if I just throw this fucking thick ass warm robe over the side of the booth do you?  Okay good.  I think you should bring Katy with you for next Friday’s event, so that we can explore this phenomenon further.  You know, make sure it didn’t “take,” since I want you to maintain a happy marriage with Mr. Bee.  In the meantime, please refrain from giving in to your prurient interests for the next several days, and lastly, I need you to grab your ankles for what I hope is the first of several spankings.  And then, get on out of here so I can have some time to reflect on this act and, um, meditate.

*This is the only sentence actually provided by Bee.  The rest is Muskrat poetic license.  If you’d like to participate in next Friday’s confessional, please email me with your transgression(s) at muskratblog[at]

Bee, and other great humor bloggers can be found at this listserv of funny blogs!

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  1. Wow! It’s true what they say and God is everywhere watching us because I felt like you described it exactly as it happened.

    Maybe I should look her up…

  2. Nice.

    Now which transgression should I email you about… Hmmm.

  3. I’m with Brenda… having a hard time choosing… lol. I’m full of it.. I mean them. Yeah. You know, transgressions.. and stuff.

  4. Pretty Bride

    Father, you give love a bad name.

  5. I love me some poetic license.

    A Free Man’s last blog post..I’m a man who doesn’t know how to sell a contradication

  6. I gotta go, uh, do something about something.

    Backpacking Dad’s last blog post..Buy This Vacuum

  7. Backpacking Dad, LOL. Filthy person.

    FreeMan, As do I.

    PrettyBride, I guess my very first kiss was my first kiss goodbye.

    ChurchPunkMom, When your quantity is high, it can make finding good quality difficult, but don’t hesitate to share anyway.

    SeriouslyMama, Don’t think too long; the next session is just 6 days away!

    Bee, He’s like Santa that way.

  8. I knew there was a reason why I liked Bee so much! Sounds like she was the right kind of wild girl!

  9. Too funny, I had Bee pegged for always playing for the home team, i did not know she switch hit in the minors… guess that is why it is called a confession.

    well i just stumbled on your blog so i now need to scan archives.

    Siren’s last blog post..Car Troubles

  10. Padre Muskrat needs to say some Hail Mary’s himself.

    SSG’s last blog post..Helping hands

  11. You go, Bee! Oops, I mean, shame on you, Bee.

    (Is the mike off now? You go, Bee!)

    Margaret (Nanny Goats)’s last blog post..The Bigger the Man, the Bigger Their Ego

  12. Wow! I’m sexually aroused Commander.

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