Today, when I arrived at court with my three witnesses, there was another hearing ahead of us, so we all sat down and watched. Wal-Mart was the defendant.
I won’t reveal too much regarding the merits of the case, but I must provide a few of the highlights from the defense counsel’s cross-examination of the plaintiff:
She was alleging an injured back and hip from a slip-and-fall incident.
She had 3 previous spinal fusion surgeries.
One involved falling out of a tree.
Another involved a fight with her grandson; jail time was involved. For her.
Did I mention this plaintiff looked like she was over 60? What the hell was she doing up a tree anyway?
After her fall at Wal-Mart, she “hid out” for 5 days rather than show up for a mandatory drug screen.
When she went to the Emergency Room, she had–and I quote–“droop dog face” from “too much cocaine.”
She claimed this was from a “partial mini-stroke.”
After our own trial (which went well, by the way…well enough that the other side agreed to settle before a verdict was announced, which my client loved), our lunchtime conversation centered on what exactly “droop dog face” meant.
I think it means Huey Lewis was right. If cocaine makes you look like that, time to get a new drug.