Today, Pretty Bride made the mistake of leaving me alone with Toddler for several hours while she ran some errands. As she drove away, I was sitting on the front porch with my Thinkpad; Toddler had just removed her diaper and was having some bare ass time on the porch swing.
Toddler: “Daddy, need potty.”
Me: “Like for real potty or just talking about going potty later on?”
Toddler: “Uh huh.”
Me: “Okay, when I finish reading this post, okay?”
12 seconds later, after seeing a puddle under the porch swing (pictured above):
Me: “Baby, did you spill your drink?”
Toddler: “No.”
I picked her up and realized she’d pissed through the porch swing onto the porch.
Me: “Baby!”
Toddler: “Sorry, Daddy. Had to go potty.”
We spent the rest of the morning enjoying some “barefoot and underpants free” time in the driveway.
Then she colored a library book that wasn’t a coloring book.
And I spent some quality time with my shadow.
It’s like I just freed O.J.!
All in all, not a bad way to spend a Saturday morning before the first college football game starts at 12:30.
——————————-
If you don’t like spending Saturdays with the SEC, check out these humour blogs all day!
I randomly found your blog and have been laughing so hard while browsing through. You’ve definitely gained a new daily reader.
Counselor, listen to your clients! Esp the female ones.
Your title for this one just kills me, more so after reading the post!
Sherri, Thanks! I enjoyed your wedding stories, btw.
Harlin, I try to listen. I just don’t retain well.
Bill, glad to hear it!
pretty, petite progeny pees on porch. Papa perplexed. Plays (with) pretender.
congratulations on the newest spawn. (i looked at your twitters)
I hope all is well.
You need to start a therapy fund for that child. Like a college fund, but lots more money.
There’s only four years of college…
Staghounds, Hilarious! You may be right.
Sometimes I like to pee the swing too, don’t ask what I’m doing at the playground bottomless. Let’s just say that going down the slide bottomless isn’t a great idea.
AK, you wicked, wicked boy! Which playground do you frequent? What times?