Law

drinking with clients v. drinking alone: too close to call?

disclaimer:  this post preceded by drinking

Okay, does anyone actually ENJOY taking a client out for dinner and drinks?  Really?  I’ve met salesmen, and they’re usually fat happy men with gin blossom noses.  I guess they like their lives.  Lawyers, though, don’t so much enjoy the “client relationship building” aspect of their practice.  In fact, it sorta sucks.  It’s like dating without the possibility of pootinanny.  I mean, I guess I could’ve tried for pootinanny from a woman with smoke-yellowed teeth and about 30lbs of “extra goodness,” but why the hell would I want to?
And then there’s the conversatoin.  Can there be more contrived conversation starters than that which is said while waiting on a blackened swordfish with a person you only talk to after they’ve been sued?  Yes, you can make fun of the plaintiffs you’re fighting, but that only lasts for so long (1-2 hrs max).  Even worse was that I wanted to have about 4 more Makers and waters, but I figured out after the first 3 that I’d rather have them alone at home than at a nice restaurant with a client.  So here I am.  Back to the bourbon.  Fuck you, forced evening, I’m in my world now.  And here I’ll stay til morning.
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At least I can have a glass of funny blog posts.
Or enjoy Christmas in July with a special gift.

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No Comments

  1. This happens to me a lot, but its worse than clients – it’s with government!!!

    (insert that whee whee whee noise from Psycho)

    However, the civil servants with an expense account can buy a lot of drinks, but they all drink crap.

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  2. At least you can drink Makers with these clients. I’m usually stuck drinking the gin and tonics that salesmen push in front of me.

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  3. Jennifer Trevisan

    Wonderful. I have such a lovely evening planned tonight, and they ARE the overbearing salesmen!

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  4. I know I’m a little overweight, but had no idea that my gin blossom was THAT noticeable.

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  5. I don’t quite follow you, here.

    Booze makes everything better.

    If you don’t like the client, just drink yourself stupid until they:

    a) become less boring
    b) turn into pink elephants
    c) leave

    That’s a recipe for success.

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  6. i love pink elephants. next time, i’ll stay longer.

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  7. Hate drinking with clients, it just makes me want to get better aquatinted with my good friend Jack Daniels.

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  8. no, no one enjoys business dinners…i used to work on the Hill and i had to attend a lot of wine receptions for congressional figures. left half of them tipsy which was the only way to get through them w/out strangling someone. yay for alcohol 🙂

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  9. Rookies….Any good Salesmen knows you take clients to a stripclub. Dont forget to ask about buying “House Money” on your card for buying client’s dances.

    NOTE: Make sure to use your personal Visa, not your AMEX. then rip off the header to the receipt that has the address and phone number, and 3AM time stamp….The Secretary’s abilities to do Google searches have added a degree of difficulty to passing a $500 ” Dinner and bar ” tab through finance.

    [Reply]

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