05.02it starts at breakfast
Today at breakfast, we learned from the Tween that her classmates and she are pairing up to raise baby eggs. By the time her name came up, they were apparently out of boys, so she and a friend are playing sisters who are adopting, which, as she pointed out, was a much better scenario than getting stuck with Harrison, the class clown (who never grew out of the glue eating phase), with whom her friend Anna is stuck.
Tween: “Anna has already said they’re getting divorced as soon as the exercise begins next week.”
Me: “But what about the egg?”
Tween: “Dad, it’s an egg!”
Me: “An egg who’s going to feel abandoned when Mommy and Daddy don’t love each other any more. An egg who starts looking down the aisle towards condiments to smoke and sudafed to turn into meth on its way to frying like those ‘brain on drugs’ ads….an egg who starts hooking up with other eggs in its carton to fill the love void left by its absent dad…”
Wife: “Muskrat! Muskrat!”
dude…why did you just now tell me about this??? Already laughing out loud hearing you say this crap.
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May 14th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Just… just…
Holy God, this is funny stuff.
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May 21st, 2008 at 2:02 pm
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May 2nd, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Sounds like a perfectly reasonable conversation to me! Happy Blogaversary!
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May 3rd, 2009 at 6:15 am
Devoted determined Dad disses divorce.
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May 3rd, 2009 at 8:02 am
Such an opportunity to delve into girl/girl relationships and you passed on it. How grown up.
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May 3rd, 2009 at 8:05 am
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January 28th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by themuskrat. themuskrat said: I think it's funny to read the first few posts on a person's blog to see how much his/her writing has changed. E.g., http://bit.ly/d7gUk3 [...]
May 6th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
I just have one thing to say how is the glue eating boy Harrison doing that is one unfinished story that begs a followup. Just saying…
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May 6th, 2010 at 8:26 pm