I’m approaching the urinal in the deserted restroom when Doug, the litigation associate from the 45th floor, enters.  Crap.  I’m the new law clerk, and everyone with the coveted “, Esq.” behind his name intimidates me.  Doug walks up to the urinal beside me. I unzip.  I exhale slowly.  I wait. Nothing. I close my [...]

Filed under: Law, niagara falls, pee, stage fright, urinal | 17 Comments

We’re having a boy in a few months, and I’m a little tired of hearing that I’ll be “baptized” soon.  Apparently, this means that when I remove Future Baby’s diaper, the cool air will encourage him to piss all over me.  Thus, the “baptism.”  What a crap euphemism.  It’s usually used by young women who [...]

Filed under: Baby, Baby, baptism, Birmingham, boy, firehose, golden shower, pee, piss | 9 Comments