children

thief

This is what greets me every morning when I wake up and shuffle into the kitchen to feel my way toward a bowl of cereal (or, as of late, a couple of eggs):  a chair from the dining table, pushed across the floor and around the bar before stopping just inside the pantry.

The next realization I make is that the box of cereal I want is gone.

I begin finding alternate sources of sustenance as little feet can be heard descending the wooden stairs to the den.

Me:  That’s odd.  Someone left a chair in the pantry, and a box of cereal is gone.
Maddie:  That IS odd, Daddy!
Me:  Did you get hungry in the middle of the night?
Maddie:  Yeah.  Well.  I mean, Owen likes to come down sometimes and get some strawberry cereal sometimes.  He likes it.
Me:  Owen is able to jump over the railed walls that stretch above his crib, safely land on y’all’s room’s floor, descend the stairs, get the cereal, bring it back up, set the box next to your bed, and then climb back into his crib and feign sleep every morning before I get up?
Maddie:  Well…Owen…he…yes, Daddy!

I think she’s just about ready for the LSAT.

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29 Comments

  1. Haha! That’s adorable. 🙂

  2. Hahahahaha!
    She’s going to be the best lawyer, yet (uh, behind you)!

  3. Screw LSAT… get her into politics straight away!

  4. That Owen is something else, isn’t he? 😉

  5. I agree with Dave2: Maddie has my vote!

  6. Look how she totally boxed you into a corner in that conversation. Her teen years are gonna be a study in regular defeat for you, I fear.

  7. True about the LSAT. She understood the word “feign”.

  8. Cribbed babies ARE sketchy.

  9. …or political office.

  10. She’s got a wicked cross-x.

    Found you on Bloggess. Liked your Shakespeare reference.

  11. Pretty Bride

    I am horrified that you published a photo of our pantry. We’ll never sell this house now.

  12. That’s why I support keeping children locked in a cage instead of a crib. You never know when your favorite cereal is going to go missing.

  13. Pingback: Weekly Round Up | Dad's Little Nuggets

  14. It’s always heart-warming to watch those sweet, lying, cheating, precious babies reach their full potential!

  15. She’s a plucky little thing, and I love your wife’s comment.

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