This is what greets me every morning when I wake up and shuffle into the kitchen to feel my way toward a bowl of cereal (or, as of late, a couple of eggs): a chair from the dining table, pushed across the floor and around the bar before stopping just inside the pantry.
The next realization I make is that the box of cereal I want is gone.
I begin finding alternate sources of sustenance as little feet can be heard descending the wooden stairs to the den.
Me: That’s odd. Someone left a chair in the pantry, and a box of cereal is gone.
Maddie: That IS odd, Daddy!
Me: Did you get hungry in the middle of the night?
Maddie: Yeah. Well. I mean, Owen likes to come down sometimes and get some strawberry cereal sometimes. He likes it.
Me: Owen is able to jump over the railed walls that stretch above his crib, safely land on y’all’s room’s floor, descend the stairs, get the cereal, bring it back up, set the box next to your bed, and then climb back into his crib and feign sleep every morning before I get up?
Maddie: Well…Owen…he…yes, Daddy!
I think she’s just about ready for the LSAT.