I met with a client at the hospital; I had a friend’s handiwork with me, as her condition was such that she may not live through an upcoming surgery, so I wanted her to have a will. She was wearing a hospital gown that looked like an art smock taken from the local preschool; it stopped about her waist. Her soft parts hung over and around the arm holes like pre-made biscuits getting squeezed out a can before going into the oven. She stood up to shimmy past where I was seated and plop down at a desk to sign the paperwork I’d brought. As she passed me and flashed her uncovered what-not along the way, she glanced down at herself, looked at me, and stated with no hint of irony:
“Excuse the sexy.”
There was no way I could avoid the guffaw that followed. I regained my composure and submitted the above to the Urban Dictionary. It was approved and can be found here.
Immortality, thy name is muskrat.
(incidentally, another way to help me achieve immortality is to vote for my “world’s greatest dad” video here!)