Baby

pride (in the name of adoration)

Like many Friday mornings, I woke up with fewer than 4 hours sleep from my weekly “networking” event with some of Atlanta’s finest litigators who like to go out for drinks with me.

Me at 0630:  I don’t think I can safely take Emilie to school.
Pretty Bride:  Well, I can take her on my way to the store if you’ll stay with Owen.
Me:  For, like, an hour or two?
PB:  No, for the day.
Me:  But I have lunch plans.  And I need to go into the office…
PB:  Then I guess you can drive E to school.

I decided to stay in bed another hour or so and then just take the little man to my office with me.  It seemed the lesser of two evils.

It’s not that I don’t love our 1-year-old.  It’s just…he doesn’t do much.  He barely walks.  He hardly knows any words.  He’ll sometimes scream for no apparent reason, and his shit smells like shit.  We’ve never really spent any time together, just the two of us.  I’ve always figured we would when he was older, when I don’t have to be as…nurturing.  Besides, he always reaches for, or calls out to, his mother anyway.

I helped him get dressed.  I gave him some bananas.  I put his shoes on.  I carried him into the garage and hooked up his car seat  before strapping him in.

We drove out of the ‘hood and onto I-20, listening to CNN on XM.  I’d ask him what he thought of the various goings on in our world.  He smiled.  I’d show him how to merge at 80mph in front of an 18-wheeler.  He smiled some more.

We parked in the garage, and I put him onto the concrete and walked toward the door.  He slowly took  a few steps, stopped to look around at all the parked cars, took some more steps, fell down, got up, and stepped some more.  He grinned at me as he approached the glass door I held open.

At some point during his slow, deliberate little trot to the elevator, I became extraordinarily happy to have this little fellow with me, even if it meant not getting much work done.  I couldn’t wait for others to see whom I’d brought to work with me.

I watched him explore my office as I checked emails.  He dumped business cards all over the floor.  Pulled a stash of plantains out of a drawer and dumped them on the floor before eating them.  Covered the floor in binder clips.  Sat down on couple of fee contracts while mashing buttons on a calculator. He was just so happy and pure that I couldn’t accomplish much more than appreciating how happy and pure he is.

Then he walked into the other offices in my suite.  Everyone talked about how cute he was and gave him things to play with.  At lunchtime, we walked a couple blocks up the road and sat outside in the sun.  My friends were 30min late, so I let him walk around on the fenced-in patio and talk to other patrons.  He sat in several laps:  a 20-something realtor; a grandmother; a personal injury lawyer.  When my lunch companion arrived, he said, “I don’t normally comment on my married friends’ kids–I sort of tolerate them.  But, he’s really cute.  And so happy.”

After a 2.5 hour lunch, I carried him back to my office.  He roamed about the hallway some more and made colleagues smile another half hour or so before I decided we’d better head home for his nap.  The 9-mile commute took nearly 90 minutes.

I carried him up to his room and put him to bed.  I quietly shut the door, walked onto the landing, sat on the top step, and cried. I didn’t want to be without him while he slept.

I guess I like this quiet, awkward little creature after all.

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47 Comments

  1. That’s a pretty damn cute kid.
    .-= Zoeyjane´s last blog ..On this week in (my) history =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @zoejane, it’s his silly, but nearly constant, smile that does it. he must have drug problem.

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  2. What did Pretty Bride think about that merging in front of an 18-wheeler at 80 mph? 🙂 He’s so cute…he must have gotten it from his mother. 😉
    .-= Unfinished Rambler´s last blog ..The Unfinished Dudes don’t know sports =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @UR, She doesn’t know yet. Shhhhhh.

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  3. What an infectious smile, it’s no wonder he was the center of attention.
    .-= toywithme´s last blog ..Win Your Very Own LELO LILY! =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @toywithme, I agree.

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  4. Well, hell. You made me cry.
    .-= Busy Mom´s last blog ..Mommyblogging in the media =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @busy mom, You know–when I was typing this, the whole time, I kept thinking, “I wonder how I can make someone from Nashville who’s visiting Atlanta cry today?” Score!

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    Busy Mom Reply:

    You have freaky super powers.
    .-= Busy Mom´s last blog ..Mommyblogging in the media =-.

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  5. Well done sir.

    I’ve never taken one of my kids for an entire work day, but they do come in for lunch (with my wife) about once or twice a month. They run the halls and pop their heads into everyone’s offices, and no one seems to mind. I live for those days.
    .-= SciFi Dad´s last blog ..Christmas (No I’m Not Kidding) =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @SciFi Dad, That sounds fun…the 3yo girl came to visit one day at lunch right before I left the firm. I think I wrote about it–she peed in my Herman Miller chair (not really mine, as the firm owned it, but still). I think Good Friday was a good day to bring the boy, since no one worked that hard that day anyway, and my phone hardly rang at all.

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  6. Love.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @mingaling, Thanks…it’s bc you can identify now, right? Actually, moms seem to bond faster with their babies than do dads, in my experience. So maybe you don’t identify. But your man might.

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    mingaling Reply:

    I think you’re right. He’s a great dad already, but I know that look he gets when I leave her with him at times (the “wtf am I supposed to do with this?” look).

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  7. You touched me with this post.
    .-= patty´s last blog ..(semi) wordless wednesday: trump tower rising =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @patty, Can you show me on the doll where I touched you?

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  8. Sure, the kid is cute, but next time get pictures of your drunk friends, especially if one of them is the pretty lawyer bunny.
    .-= Grant´s last blog ..Bankruptcy and Bunny =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @grant, Ha! Sure…I was actually out with Betty the night before, but I don’t think I have pictures.

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  9. And this right here is why I adore you. *sigh*

    It’s amazing what can be appreciated without words or worldly knowledge of interesting things, isn’t it?
    .-= Miss Britt´s last blog ..The Week Of Meh =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @britt, It is amazing. Surprisingly.

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  10. Awww, I just want to hug you and pet your pretty little vagina.
    .-= Avitable´s last blog ..My Refrigerator by the Numbers =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @avitable, heavy petting? i hope so.

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  11. Oh my God. You have a heart. I’m floored.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @lisa, I have a big one! My heart is nice, too.

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  12. Swwt boy, sweet dad.
    .-= Nancy at Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas´s last blog ..The Best Purple Giraffe Ever =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @nancy, Maybe. This time, anyway.

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  13. It’s funny how the little parasites worm their way into our hearts, innit?

    The last few lines say it all.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @kelley, I suppose it is funny, isn’t it? Until one of the wrecks my car or something.

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  14. Great post! Sexy man and now you’ve proven to be a sexy dad, too. Nothing’s sexier than loving your kids with all you’ve got. You apparently have more than you thought.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @lojo, That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking for years. Glad someone else recognizes.

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  15. Precocious progeny provokes paternal protectiveness in Proud Papa.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @avatgardener, Positively!

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  16. *grinning* That’s nice. He’s adorable — lucky you.
    .-= Chris´s last blog ..My Money Troubles =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @chris, I agree…thanks.

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  17. Yeah, I’m slowly coming to terms with the second one as well. At least now he can sit up and pull himself around like a slug. I haven’t brought him in to work yet, maybe I should try that one. What are you doing taking 2 and a half hour lunches?
    .-= A Free Man´s last blog ..There’s a time and place for everything I’ve got to get it through =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @free man, I usually don’t take a lunch at all, but it was Good Friday, and hardly anyone was working anyway!

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  18. That was really nice. And, even though my husband is a fantastic father, I’m pretty sure I’d have to slip roofies in his coffee to get him to take one of our kids to work for the whole day.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @faiqa, “nice”? Isn’t that what we say about things we don’t know how to compliment–or things we don’t want to compliment? Don’t hate on the roofies, though.

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  19. I KNEW it! You pretend you find them smelly, but I’ve known deep down all along that you love those babies. ALL the babies.

    Adore you, even more each day.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @PB, They’re okay, I guess.

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  20. I <3 Muskrat-in-Dad-mode. Save this entry for when he's 14 and screaming about how you won't let him have/do fill-in-the-blank and you've ruined his life.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @countessa, He’ll never do that. Don’t be ridiculous.

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  21. Dang! It almost makes me wish mine were that young again…expect…my 4th grandchild is due this month and that’s where I get to enjoy those precious moments these days. Thanks for reminding me to make sure I *do* enjoy each and every moment I have with them.
    .-= Fran´s last blog ..Taking the High Road =-.

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    muskrat Reply:

    @fran, Grandkids go home…I hear that’s what all the fun is at.

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  22. Pingback: Tweets that mention pride (in the name of adoration) | Father Muskrat -- Topsy.com

  23. Well look who did their mothers day gift early? Now just go print it out, frame it and reap the love. Great post.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @next martha, Good idea!

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