Baby

the unartistic conception (and, a fisher price sex toy!)

Just look at this shit someone attached to our refrigerator.  Apparently, I like to wear purple and blue britches on top of each other, like Punky Brewster or a homeless person, and I hop around all day on my giant johnson.  Oh, and I’m pregnant.

My bride has pink hair, is also pregnant, and appears to be jumping about on a giant johnson as well.

And then there’s little Maddie.  She’s wearing purple for this grand johnson-hopping event, has a horseshoe hanging on her head, and is also pregnant.  In the background are crosses, because we apparently live in ancient Rome on Good Friday.

This is what we get for taking our 3-year-old to the church nursery.

And then there’s this kid:

He’s hanging out in the bath tub.  He’s chill.  All’s right with the world.

But then:

Found something there, didn’t we?  Oh yes, you did (to be contrasted with “oh no, you didn’t”)!

He continued doing whatever he’s doing with the blue plastic rod until way past the point at which the bathwater became cold.  Now that he’s asleep, I’m totally taking that blue plastic rod into the shower with me to see what all the agape expressions are about.

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19 Comments

  1. munchkin makes magic mural, mocking mom, man and methodists? marinated mini-man makes merry. muskrat mimics mastabatory moments.

    [Reply]

  2. well, methodists might be a stretch, but it started with m and i couldn’t find another word that fit.
    btw, i’m back!!!

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @avatgardener, outstanding! i’ve started a bad trend of making fun of the children. probably should stop.

    [Reply]

  3. YES, you should. STOP. Our children are delightful joys. You’ll give them Issues.

    [Reply]

  4. Therapy/College

    Therapy/College

    It’s so much easier to prepare them for therapy, and so much more fun…some days.
    .-= califmom´s last blog ..Look What Came In The Mail Today: The Internet Says, Fuck Cancer! =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @califmom, I love that you “get it.”

    [Reply]

  5. Anything is better than what my boy does in the bath:

    “Oh, lookie what we have here… why, there’s a hole there. I wonder if my finger will fit up in there. Let’s see, if I just apply a little more pressure…”

    I can’t even watch. I literally get sick to my stomach.
    .-= SciFi Dad´s last blog ..Spread =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @scifi dad, That is truly awful.

    [Reply]

  6. You’re a damn nut! Let me know how things work out with you and Mr. Blue Rod, mkay?
    .-= Keyona´s last blog ..Question Of The Week =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @keyona, Worked out great! Doing it again right now!

    [Reply]

  7. The art again… it’s really great. No joke. Your son is adorable. He just had an itch.
    .-= Chris´s last blog ..The Zen Of My Sons On A Beach =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @chris, really? if you say so…

    [Reply]

  8. At least he didn’t attempt the test the drain hole suction.
    .-= always home and uncool´s last blog ..Can I Get an AAAAAAAAAAH, Man? =-.

    [Reply]

    muskrat Reply:

    @always home, I reckon. Not that he doesn’t try.

    [Reply]

  9. Wow that’s some “Special” blue rod! Your son’s expression says it all… Maybe Fisher Price should start a new toy division?!?
    Fisher Price Batcave´s last blog post ..Privacy Policy

    [Reply]

  10. Hello there, just wandered by. I have a Fisher Price site. Amazing the amount of information on the web. Wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but cool site. Cya later.

    [Reply]

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