The Mrs.

how i met yo mama

It was New Year’s Eve 2005.  I reluctantly agreed to attend a party one of my little brother’s thug friends (am I the only person who assumes all my younger sibling’s friends are thugs?) was throwing at his apartment in midtown instead of going out of town like I usually did, meaning I was forced to hang out with a bunch of bohemian graduate students who were younger than me.  I was pumped.  Going to the dentist pumped.

I walked into his apartment and, shortly afterward, met a pretty redhead who’d just returned from an east Alabama graveyard where she’d been digging up rotting bones for a prospective mall.  We spoke briefly, but I stayed near my younger brother and tried to pass the time by downing the imported beer I’d brought, as I sure as hell wasn’t going to drink whatever the living-on-loans kids had in their ‘frig.

A few hours later, a bunch of us walked down the street to a dive bar called The Highlander.  Emboldened by the cheap swill I started stealing after mine was gone, I challenged the redhead to some air hockey, shortly after a conversation about the war I’d recently returned from and her taking the last tater tot from a community plate.  The party host, apparently, had a Polaroid camera and took this action shot:


Because I knew I’d whip her little red-panted ass, I told her that if I won, I got to kiss her.  I don’t recall what she was supposed to get if she won.  Cash?  In fact, I don’t remember any of our conversations around the air hockey table; I had to be briefed on their content later.  I’m told I tried to poke her in the stomach to she if she’d giggle like Poppin’ Fresh.  She didn’t.

Somehow, she beat me, despite my mad skillz at air hockey and stellar athleticism while under the influence.  I even blocked the goal with my left hand–which, in many circles, is considered cheating–but I still lost.

Not that such kept me from trying to claim my prize.


I was shot down, pushed away, and greeted with a look of terror that was amusing enough to the other bar patrons that yet another Polaroid was shot.

Eventually, I’m told, I did get to kiss her, after she embarked on a local intel mission with the party host and anyone else in the vicinity who knew me as more than “that obnoxious drunk who’s trying to swap air hockey goals for kisses.”

Eleven months later, I made her mine.

So, on this, my anniversary of meeting Pretty Bride, I wish all my online friends a happy and prosperous new year.  Thanks for helping make 2008 one of my favorite years ever…right up there with 1987!

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  1. Those are great photos, Muskrat. You both are very lucky people to have met each other, and I’m glad we also met. Happy New Year to you, Pretty Bride and the kids.

    unfinishedrambler’s last blog post..New Year’s Resolutions 2009: No smoking, drinking, joking about drinking or asterisks

  2. Good work! Your stellar charm must have shown through the beer.

    Happy New Year!

    Jim’s last blog post..Spin Cycle: New Year’s Resolutions

  3. 1987 was awesome. I turned 8 that year. 😉

    and 2005 was pretty good too. 😀

    ChurchPunkMom’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  4. My parents had their first date on new year’s eve. That was 1949 and I, as the first born child, was not even a sparkle in anyone’s eye.


  5. UR, Thanks! Don’t get all sentimental on me, though.

    Jim, Something did it. Not sure if it was charm, though.

    ChurchPunkMom, 8? Are you Gen Y? I was in 6th grade that year; it was awesome.

    David, 1949? I can’t imagine what life was like right after a World War. Thanks for stopping by, and cheers to you as well!

  6. If you are the only person who thinks younger siblings’ friends are all thugs, you’re the only older sibling with an unblemished CPU. I’m speaking as a youngest sibling. I know these things.

    You two have a great story. I’m looking forward to reading more chapters.

    (I followed your comment from Jenny’s blog. Couldn’t resist the lure of the giant Johnson)

    Beth’s last blog post..And now, the exciting conclusion – with pictures!

  7. lol.. depends on who you ask. 😉

    i ‘qualify’ for both gen X and gen Y, since i was born in ’79. my parents were Baby Boomers.

    ChurchPunkMom’s last blog post..Happy New Year!

  8. That is just so cute! Congratulations!

    Jen’s last blog post..Best of Me 2008

  9. I recall those events vividly. I made a love (or something) connection that night as well. But that ended in disaster… Also, J is a thug? J the eccentric, Japanese-speaking, gay, wannabe professor? C’mon man! And we aren’t friends anymore.

  10. >>>digging up rotting bones for a prospective mall.

    Who builds a mall out of dead people’s bones? Creepy.

  11. Happy New Year! That was a good little story. Also, 1987 was great because that is the year I was born.

    Zandor’s last blog post..NYE = You entire year?

  12. Beth, Thanks for the analogy. I still believe I’m right.

    ChurchPunkMom, Mine too (’44 and ’46), but just barely.

    Jen, Thanks! We are pretty damned cute.

    Brother, I actually don’t think Jeremy is that bad. Just misunderstood.

    Darryl, No one who wants the mall to succeed.

    Zandor, You might be my youngest visitor. Thanks for dropping by, and good luck with exams!

  13. Happy anniversary. It’s nice to know there are happy couples out there. Oops I said too much again.

    prefers her fantasy life’s last blog post..Mixed Blessings This Season

  14. I think your brother’s friends are thugs too.

    What a cool story to tell the grandkids!

    Happy New Year!!

  15. Look at you with your silky smooth moves and your mad skills!!

    Catherinette Singleton’s last blog post..No “And Then!”

  16. I agree….1987 ruled.

    Nice pics. What’s with Pretty Bride’s outfit? Kinda sassy ain’t it? I’ll have to show you the pic of Mrs. Figurhead and myself early in our courtship; it’s the protype college pic – me wearing an empty case of beer as a hat while stirring Mrs. Figurehead drink (with a spoon). She appears impressed rather than appalled by my headwear.

    The Figurehead’s last blog post..My Favorite Things : 2008 Edition

  17. PrefersFantasyLife, Thanks! There are a few of us.

    Bee, Thanks. It’s good to have a few stories the grandkids can hear. Most will have to wait til they’re 18.

    Catherinette, Mad skills indeed.

    Figurehead, She is sassy. And you need to post that pic of you from 10 years ago.

    Tracey, I love it, too. How rare is that?

  18. Love that there are Polaroids of your first meeting…

    tracey’s last blog post..Debauchery. DeeeeBAUCHeriiiiieeeeee!!!!

  19. Picture #2 tells me I should only lurk in pubs that have air hockey.

    Pwn Greenland’s last blog post..Pervert Attempts To Save Marriage

  20. All of my younger sister’s friends were thugs. She would probably agree. Just so, you know, you don’t feel alone.

    Happy Anniversary!

    A Free Man’s last blog post..And the less I seek my source for some definitive

  21. PwnGreenland, Yes, you should. Yes, you should.

    AFreeMan, Thanks, and I don’t feel alone.

  22. I feel I should say, I enjoy your blog. Could tell me how I can subscribing with it? By the way I found this site through Google.

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