Apparently, I wear memorable shoes, because my male colleagues seem to have no trouble knowing that I’m in the bathroom stall when they walk in to use the facilities. For some reason, they feel the need to show off their recognizing my shoes, and they try to strike up conversations with me while I’m in there. Do they not know there’s a soundproof bubble surrounding bathroom stalls? It’s like the opaque-from-the-outside glass in my car that allows me to anonymously pick my nose or drink beer on I-75.
I never respond to words directed at me through the bathroom stall. Instead, I stay in there til Captain Talkative gets out, and then I walk back to my office via a more circuitous route and act like I’m on the phone.
In addition to the regular coworkers who do it, I’ve also had strangers talk to me while in the stall. The content was quite different, however. I’ll provide an excerpt below. This conversation occurred about five years ago at the Mick’s in Underground Atlanta.
Restroom patron: Oh my God. Dude, you gotta do something about that.
Restroom patron: Hey! Dude in the black shoes! Can you hear me?
Restroom patron: F*ck, man! Put some water on that shit, man! I’m about to choke in here!!!
Me: (stifling laughter)
As soon as I was finished, I ran out of the restroom and went up the bar and placed myself such that the bar was between the restroom and me. My shoes were hidden. I dropped my head and talked to the peanuts until my talkative (and sickly) new friend left.
If you like making friends (or enemies) in the restroom, give props to Muskrat on this funny blog!