a reacquaintance with southern culture


I grew up with a kid named Glenn who, a little over a year ago, was transferred from Atlanta to Baltimore.  Being a good Southern boy, Glenn has pretty much hated living in Baltimore, as it’s cold, and he lives near a bunch of heroin addicts, despite a > $10,000/yr property tax bill.  Luckily, he’s recently landed a job in Nashville.

He called me yesterday from an east Tennessee truck stop where he’d stopped along the drive from Baltimore to Nashville.  He went to the restroom and discovered a locked door, so he waited outside for several minutes.

The door opened, and a grizzled man in jeans and flannel stepped out, looked at Glenn, and spoke:

Man:  “Hey man, you gotta take a shit?”

Glenn:  “Umm.  No?”

Man:  “Well, I just wanted you to know that the paper in there’s all gone.  So if you DO need to take a shit, you best tell someone to get some more paper.”

Glenn (hugging the grizzled stranger, tears dripping onto his broad shoulders):  “I’m so glad to be back in Tennessee, where a stranger at a gas station off I-40 gives a damn whether I’m going to be able to wipe my ass or not.  Thank you, Mister.  And thank you, God in Heaven, for this gift of a move.”

Welcome back, Glenn.

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  1. avatgardener

    glenn gropes gas-station grizzly guy. grins. gets gushy. gak!

  2. There’s got to be some sort of upside to living with so many rednecks.

    prefers her fantasy life’s last blog post..From the H-Files (The Hippie Files)–My First Love

  3. yeah, that ‘tennessee trucker’ was actually a traveling toilet paper salesman and he just destroyed the last roll in there.

    Nooter’s last blog post..Can You Smell That Smell?

  4. Um, that was my dad. Sorry.

  5. 10k/month?? Are you kidding? I’m so naive.

  6. I mis-read it as 10k/month…My comprehension is amazing…

  7. I would be so totally freaked out by anyone hugging me at the restroom door. Ewwww

  8. Yes. this is true..except I didnt hug him…it was more of an awkward pat on the back. Now that I think of it, he was probably wiping his shit covered hands on my shirt…

  9. Touching… in a creepy truckstop bathroom kind of way. But still touching nonetheless.

  10. AvatG, There’s no need to “gak!” It was perfectly natural and beautiful.

    PrefersFantasy, Don’t forget the livestock love. A definite upside.

    Nooter, Now I know why he was so friendly.

    MamaDawg, Your Pappy is one fine fellow. Tell him “thanks.”

    Matt, I think it was a year.

    Figurehead, I agree! Wish he were in Atlanta again.

    Matt, Myopia is nothing to joke about.

    Darryl, I sorta like restroom hugs.

    Glenn! It’s okay to admit the love. You totally hugged him.

    Jeff, I have MANY “touching” stories involving truckstops.

  11. Yes. In the South we care.

    anhelpmeet’s last blog post..The original Proverb 31 woman

  12. Dude. So awesome. Makes me wish we’d ended up in Tennessee instead of Iowa.. We’ll just have to stick with visiting. 😉

    ChurchPunkMom’s last blog post..Not entirely happy, not entirely sad or funny either random thoughts for your Tuesday…

  13. That’s classic! Southern hospitality and manners at it’s best. I bet the poor guy found out the hard way about the lack of TP.

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