Travels

a reacquaintance with southern culture

gasstation

I grew up with a kid named Glenn who, a little over a year ago, was transferred from Atlanta to Baltimore.  Being a good Southern boy, Glenn has pretty much hated living in Baltimore, as it’s cold, and he lives near a bunch of heroin addicts, despite a > $10,000/yr property tax bill.  Luckily, he’s recently landed a job in Nashville.

He called me yesterday from an east Tennessee truck stop where he’d stopped along the drive from Baltimore to Nashville.  He went to the restroom and discovered a locked door, so he waited outside for several minutes.

The door opened, and a grizzled man in jeans and flannel stepped out, looked at Glenn, and spoke:

Man:  “Hey man, you gotta take a shit?”

Glenn:  “Umm.  No?”

Man:  “Well, I just wanted you to know that the paper in there’s all gone.  So if you DO need to take a shit, you best tell someone to get some more paper.”

Glenn (hugging the grizzled stranger, tears dripping onto his broad shoulders):  “I’m so glad to be back in Tennessee, where a stranger at a gas station off I-40 gives a damn whether I’m going to be able to wipe my ass or not.  Thank you, Mister.  And thank you, God in Heaven, for this gift of a move.”

Welcome back, Glenn.

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14 Comments

  1. glenn gropes gas-station grizzly guy. grins. gets gushy. gak!

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  2. There’s got to be some sort of upside to living with so many rednecks.

    prefers her fantasy life’s last blog post..From the H-Files (The Hippie Files)–My First Love

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  3. yeah, that ‘tennessee trucker’ was actually a traveling toilet paper salesman and he just destroyed the last roll in there.

    Nooter’s last blog post..Can You Smell That Smell?

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  4. Um, that was my dad. Sorry.

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  5. 10k/month?? Are you kidding? I’m so naive.

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  6. I mis-read it as 10k/month…My comprehension is amazing…

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  7. I would be so totally freaked out by anyone hugging me at the restroom door. Ewwww

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  8. Yes. this is true..except I didnt hug him…it was more of an awkward pat on the back. Now that I think of it, he was probably wiping his shit covered hands on my shirt…

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  9. Touching… in a creepy truckstop bathroom kind of way. But still touching nonetheless.

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  10. AvatG, There’s no need to “gak!” It was perfectly natural and beautiful.

    PrefersFantasy, Don’t forget the livestock love. A definite upside.

    Nooter, Now I know why he was so friendly.

    MamaDawg, Your Pappy is one fine fellow. Tell him “thanks.”

    Matt, I think it was a year.

    Figurehead, I agree! Wish he were in Atlanta again.

    Matt, Myopia is nothing to joke about.

    Darryl, I sorta like restroom hugs.

    Glenn! It’s okay to admit the love. You totally hugged him.

    Jeff, I have MANY “touching” stories involving truckstops.

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  11. Yes. In the South we care.

    anhelpmeet’s last blog post..The original Proverb 31 woman

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  12. Dude. So awesome. Makes me wish we’d ended up in Tennessee instead of Iowa.. We’ll just have to stick with visiting. 😉

    ChurchPunkMom’s last blog post..Not entirely happy, not entirely sad or funny either random thoughts for your Tuesday…

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  13. That’s classic! Southern hospitality and manners at it’s best. I bet the poor guy found out the hard way about the lack of TP.

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