02.15a reacquaintance with southern culture
I grew up with a kid named Glenn who, a little over a year ago, was transferred from Atlanta to Baltimore. Being a good Southern boy, Glenn has pretty much hated living in Baltimore, as it’s cold, and he lives near a bunch of heroin addicts, despite a > $10,000/yr property tax bill. Luckily, he’s recently landed a job in Nashville.
He called me yesterday from an east Tennessee truck stop where he’d stopped along the drive from Baltimore to Nashville. He went to the restroom and discovered a locked door, so he waited outside for several minutes.
The door opened, and a grizzled man in jeans and flannel stepped out, looked at Glenn, and spoke:
Man: “Hey man, you gotta take a shit?”
Glenn: “Umm. No?”
Man: “Well, I just wanted you to know that the paper in there’s all gone. So if you DO need to take a shit, you best tell someone to get some more paper.”
Glenn (hugging the grizzled stranger, tears dripping onto his broad shoulders): “I’m so glad to be back in Tennessee, where a stranger at a gas station off I-40 gives a damn whether I’m going to be able to wipe my ass or not. Thank you, Mister. And thank you, God in Heaven, for this gift of a move.”
Welcome back, Glenn.
glenn gropes gas-station grizzly guy. grins. gets gushy. gak!
[Reply]
February 16th, 2009 at 8:21 am
There’s got to be some sort of upside to living with so many rednecks.
prefers her fantasy life’s last blog post..From the H-Files (The Hippie Files)–My First Love
[Reply]
February 16th, 2009 at 9:21 am
yeah, that ‘tennessee trucker’ was actually a traveling toilet paper salesman and he just destroyed the last roll in there.
Nooter’s last blog post..Can You Smell That Smell?
[Reply]
February 16th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Um, that was my dad. Sorry.
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February 16th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
10k/month?? Are you kidding? I’m so naive.
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February 16th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
welcome home Worm!
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February 16th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
I mis-read it as 10k/month…My comprehension is amazing…
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February 16th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I would be so totally freaked out by anyone hugging me at the restroom door. Ewwww
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February 16th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Yes. this is true..except I didnt hug him…it was more of an awkward pat on the back. Now that I think of it, he was probably wiping his shit covered hands on my shirt…
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February 16th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Touching… in a creepy truckstop bathroom kind of way. But still touching nonetheless.
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February 16th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
AvatG, There’s no need to “gak!” It was perfectly natural and beautiful.
PrefersFantasy, Don’t forget the livestock love. A definite upside.
Nooter, Now I know why he was so friendly.
MamaDawg, Your Pappy is one fine fellow. Tell him “thanks.”
Matt, I think it was a year.
Figurehead, I agree! Wish he were in Atlanta again.
Matt, Myopia is nothing to joke about.
Darryl, I sorta like restroom hugs.
Glenn! It’s okay to admit the love. You totally hugged him.
Jeff, I have MANY “touching” stories involving truckstops.
[Reply]
February 16th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Yes. In the South we care.
anhelpmeet’s last blog post..The original Proverb 31 woman
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February 17th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Dude. So awesome. Makes me wish we’d ended up in Tennessee instead of Iowa.. We’ll just have to stick with visiting.
ChurchPunkMom’s last blog post..Not entirely happy, not entirely sad or funny either random thoughts for your Tuesday…
[Reply]
February 17th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
That’s classic! Southern hospitality and manners at it’s best. I bet the poor guy found out the hard way about the lack of TP.
[Reply]
February 20th, 2009 at 11:35 am