across the divide


I decided last night that I’d challenge the laws governing the space-time continuum and actually talk, in person, to some other bloggers from Atlanta.  I know, you’re thinking the results could very well mirror Jennifer McFly’s meeting her 30-years-ago self, which resulted in syncope, but could very well have resulted in mass catastrophe.  I thought the risk worth taking.

So, I went to the bar for the meeting I’d read about on the APWBWGTTD website and saw several tables full of people playing trivia.  Great.  I didn’t particularly want to walk up to each table and ask, “Hey, so, like, do you blog?” so I ordered a Negro Modelo and sat at a small table by myself to twitter and, perhaps, be able to pick out the trivia participants who looked like bloggers.  One table was entirely female, so I eliminated them.  Another table only had a pair of participants, so I eliminated them.  The largest group with mixed genders seemed promising, so I sat next to them. 

One of the guys asked, “Hey, you a blogger?” 
Me:  “Nope.  I’m a lonely alcoholic who makes love to his blackberry when away from his tonic and gin.  Want to share a drink I call ‘lonliness’?” 

I scooted towards the group and shook a couple hands. 

New aquaintance:  “So, what’s your blog about?  Politics?”
Me:  “It’s sort of a humor blog…you know, about parenting, lawyering, soldiering, my childhood…”
New aquaintance:  “You don’t look very funny.  You’re white.  And skinny.”
Me:  “I hear you, buddy.  But I do love cocaine and hookers!  Doesn’t that count for something?”
New acquaintance:  “No.”

I decided to hang around another couple hours, and we actually won the trivia contest in a brilliant come-from-behind on the last question (gambling the full 20 points) because I was the only person in the bar who remembered who ran with Ross Perot in ’92.  Damn right it was a good day.  Looking forward to next month’s meeting.

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  1. It was good times. Fun getting to know you and you better come out next time. Stockdale in 2012!!

  2. second!!

    lol, ‘you don’t look funny’…

    pray tell, what does ‘funny’ look like??

  3. ooh, ooh! next time? wear a clown suit.. maybe then you’ll ‘look funny’..

    it’s ok, i don’t ‘look funny’ either.. but i may be kind of funny looking, does that count?

  4. Cocaine & hookers trump the white & skinny.

  5. don’t they appreciate the fact that hookers are hilarious? sheesh. maybe I’ll need to give up my corner and devote to humor blogging full time instead.

  6. one day I’ll be the king of all hookers

  7. ‘syncope’ is a great word. Surprising to see a ‘Bama grad throwing it around.

    I’ve met one other blogger in my time and it went really well, one of my better friends down here.

  8. Glad you came out to play. FYI, I’ll probably never stop calling you “new kid” . Fair warning.

  9. I don’t see any Alabama jokes.

  10. No one has ever told me that I look funny, either.

    But I get “you smell funny” a lot.

    Points for the Billy Joel allusion (back when he actually made great music).

  11. mrpbody33, is he still alive? he’s gotta be 117 if he is.

    churchpunkmom, i’m not sure i have a clown suit, but how about dressing in drag in lieu of same?

    BHJ, that’s precisely what i’ve been saying of years now.

    chatblanc, you’d do the world a big ol’ disservice if you quit your hookering.

    kingof NY, not if i run, you won’t.

    cdv1971, do they teach medical terminology at UGA? or just how to lose to gators?

    maigh, i’d prefer you address me as “johnny come lately” instead.

    chamblee54, nor should there be any.

    dougatTV, thanks for recognizing. and fyi, i don’t think you stink. yet.

  12. Gridlock! Good for 40 pts and the victory, not bad.

  13. wow makes me almost want to move to Atlanta. Almost…

    I kid I kid…

  14. Note to self: Increase hookers and blow intake. Make help shed final 5 pounds.

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