Sarbanes-Oxley, I’m not a fan.  Granted, I don’t practice securities or regulation law, so I don’t know much more about this piece of governmental meddling oversight other than what y’all know:  that it was created to stop corporate raping of shareholders, a la Enron and WorldCom and HealthSouth and Adelphia, and that it requires a lot of extra auditing and paperwork.  For me, this means I have to review a stack of invoices nearly every day–invoices that a secretary should have to review (and used to review).  Any time the government requires my extraneous signing of documents, and I can’t bill it to a client, said legislation can touch my bottom.

When SOX started, our office manager gave me a special folder labeled “invoices” and said I had 48 hours to review and sign them.

Me:  “Why?”
Office Mgr:  “For SOX.”
Me:  “What the hell does the Clintons’ cat have to do with this?  Shouldn’t it be dead now anyway?”
Office Mgr:  “No, silly person!  It’s Sarbanes-Oxley.”
Me:  “Remind me the next time I’m in either Maryland or Ohio to take a big shit on Senator Sarbanes’s or Representative Oxley’s front porch.”

So, fellow Shareholders of Large Corporations’ Stock, SOX can eat a dick.  Well-educated white men will always be greedy.  Having a lowly attorney sign the back of every invoice that comes through his practice group won’t do a damned thing to prevent this.
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Pictured pulled from this fine blog’s writeup.  For apolitical humor (sometimes), check out these funny blogs!

Filed under: Law, Rants, government, humor, Sarbanes-Oxley, SOX