Law Rants

SOX can eatadick

Sarbanes-Oxley, I’m not a fan.  Granted, I don’t practice securities or regulation law, so I don’t know much more about this piece of governmental meddling oversight other than what y’all know:  that it was created to stop corporate raping of shareholders, a la Enron and WorldCom and HealthSouth and Adelphia, and that it requires a lot of extra auditing and paperwork.  For me, this means I have to review a stack of invoices nearly every day–invoices that a secretary should have to review (and used to review).  Any time the government requires my extraneous signing of documents, and I can’t bill it to a client, said legislation can touch my bottom.

When SOX started, our office manager gave me a special folder labeled “invoices” and said I had 48 hours to review and sign them.

Me:  “Why?”
Office Mgr:  “For SOX.”
Me:  “What the hell does the Clintons’ cat have to do with this?  Shouldn’t it be dead now anyway?”
Office Mgr:  “No, silly person!  It’s Sarbanes-Oxley.”
Me:  “Remind me the next time I’m in either Maryland or Ohio to take a big shit on Senator Sarbanes’s or Representative Oxley’s front porch.”

So, fellow Shareholders of Large Corporations’ Stock, SOX can eat a dick.  Well-educated white men will always be greedy.  Having a lowly attorney sign the back of every invoice that comes through his practice group won’t do a damned thing to prevent this.
Pictured pulled from this fine blog’s writeup.  For apolitical humor (sometimes), check out these funny blogs!

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No Comments

  1. sulking “servent” says SOX sucks. Signs stacks of stuff sullenly.

  2. thanks for giving me such an easy chore today. i will ponder a weightier reply for soon.

  3. lawyer lambastes legislation, laments laminated label.

  4. I always knew you’d look good in a skirt!

  5. That’s funny thing about government–when you add up all the time and money lost on oversight bullshit like this, it’s actually more cost effective to just let people lie, cheat and steal. Heh, and Rickey’s not even a conservative…

  6. Politicians make my ass twitch. And not in a good way.

  7. Bex, saw your post and agree!

    Rickey, you may be right. At least everyone learned how foolish it is to have an entire 401k in a single company’s stock.

    Harlin, I don’t get it.

    AG, good additions to your stack!

  8. I was sure this was an anti Red Sox post at first glance. I’m going to continue to believe that.

  9. Jennifer Trevisan

    Sarbanes-Oxley is the bane of my existance!!! Growl!

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