Gratuitously offensive

email exchange with mrs. darwin

CONGRATULATIONS!!!YOUR EMAIL HAVE WON. 

 
 
 

 

Saturday, June 14, 2008 1:36 PM

From:

“OXFAM GB – UK” <info@OXFAM.com>

To:

undisclosed-recipients

 ———————————–

OXFAM GB – UK
274, Banbury Road,
Oxford
OX2 7DZ
Dear sir/madam
This is to notify you that you have been officially chosen by
the Board of Trustees of the Oxfam GB (NGO UK) as one of the
final Recipients of a Cash Grant/Donation for Economic Growth
and a Poverty Alleviation Scheme Through your email. Oxfam
GB(U.K.) a Multi-Million Pounds NGO group was established with
the Objective Of Human Growth, Educational and Community
Development. In line with the 61st anniversary program, Oxfam
GB (U.K.) in conjunction with the European Council is giving
out Five Million Five Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pounds
Sterling as specific Donations/Grants to 10 lucky
International recipients worldwide in different Categories for
Business and Social Development. These funds are freely given
to you for your Business, Economic And Educational
Development, as well as the enhancement of the overall
standard of living in your region.Your Email was selected
based on an internet random Selection Exercise, you are
therefore confirmed as one of The lucky recipients and you are
entitled to FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND GREAT BRITAIN
POUNDS STERLING, as charity donations/aid from the Oxfam GB (UK).

To facilitate the disbursement of this noble donation to you,
Kindly fill the claims requirement form attached to this
e-mail and also note thatyour funds will be given to you via
Wire transfer to your checking account .

VERIFICATION / FUNDS RELEASE FORM
1.Name in full——————————————-
2.Address———————————————-
3.Nationality——————————————–
4.Age————————————————–
5.Sex————————————————–
6.Occupation———————————————
7.Phone/Fax———————————————
8.Present Country—————————————–
9.Alternate Email Address———————————-
10.Your Qualification Number——————————-

Endeavor to quote your Qualification Number(OG/N231/E101/BDB)
as the subject of your correspondence with the National
Secretary Oxfam GB (UK), Mr Marthins Cole to facilitate your
Grant disbursement process.
Mr Marthins Cole
Oxfam GB (UK)
TEL: +447045723879
Email:oxfamdonations_gbuk01@live.com

Please note that these Donations/Grants are administered by a
United Kingdom Bank and therefore subject to United Kingdom
Banking Laws. You are by all means advised, To keep this
information confidential until you have collected your grant.
This is a security measure to avoid unwarranted attention from
the International press, double or unqualified claim.
On behalf of the Board, kindly accept our warmest Congratulations!

Yours faithfully,
Dr (Mrs.) Christabel Darwin
Programme Manager.

—————————————————
My reply email:

Greetings Dr (Mrs) Darwin!

Are you a descendent of Charles Darwin? If so, how cool are you?! I saw his grave not long ago. I took a shit on it! Right in the middle of Westminster Abbey! How do you like them apples?

Thank you so much for this kind offer! You must have figured all Americans have 5-figure credit card debt and 4-figure monthly SUV leases, so they’d certainly be excited about an opportunity like the “Poverty Alleviation Scheme” you describe below! If so, you’re right! We totally live in poverty! Especially lawyers like me! Bring on the cash! I sure am glad the U.K. is into eradicating poverty in the U.S.! Is John Edwards helping you with this project? If not, he should be!

I can’t believe my “email have won.” How lucky am I? By the way, how does the “internet random Selection Exercise” program work? Why do you capitalize the “S” in “selection” and the “E” in “exercise?” Is it because you had retard bagels for breakfast? Maybe it’s because you’re Nigerian, like the guy trying to rent my condo! Maybe y’all can “Endeavor” to come shine by balls together this week! He’s quite good at it! But, I’ll bet you’re even better!

Here’s the information you need:
1- John Daniels
2-Route 1, Lynchburg, Tennessee 37352
3-White Southerner
4-33
5-Bi
6-Lawyer/Writer/Drinker
7-867-5309
8-CSA
9-john@eatadick.com
10-OG/N231/E101/BDB

Thanks so much!  Can’t wait to hear back from you!

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No Comments

  1. Great post. I will read your posts frequently. Added you to the RSS reader.

    [Reply]

  2. I’m so glad you didn’t offend by using that awful racial slur in #3.

    [Reply]

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