Today, I drove 1.5 hours into the middle of nowhere for a deposition with two other attorneys (normally, there are just two total, but this case has a coverage dispute between the insurance company and the employer, so instead of one attorney representing both entities, there were two). After the deposition, the plaintiff’s lawyer walked his client out of the office before returning to the conference room for “man talk.” Normally, this is the time during which the attorneys talk about the case and where we see it going from here. This time, however, the other two lawyers appeared to know each other fairly well, so they talked about how each’s practice was going and their families while I sat and listened. Then, the plaintiff’s lawyer asked the employer’s lawyer if he’d just joined his country club; apparently, the employer’s lawyer had. He talked about how he used to go to another facility to swim but decided he had to leave “because of the homos.” When the plaintiff’s lawyer asked him what he was talking about, the employer’s lawyer looked a little hesitant to respond but then decided to go ahead anyway.
“Well, you know, around the locker room they’re just gathering–and the steam room. The other day, one of them had his penis out and was…jackin’ at it while another just watched. I had to go tell the person at the desk, who declared there was a ‘code red’ or something like that, and they suspended his membership for a while!”
I decided to speak at this point: “Wow. I expect that type of thing in the city where I live, but certainly not here. Glad they have a name for it, though. And ‘code red’ sounds so official! Much better than exclaiming ‘we got a wacker’ or ‘gawd all mighty, there’s quairs in our gym,’ right?” All agreed. I could tell they respected my wisdom.
“Well, have a safe drive back to the city.”
“Thanks,” I replied. “What’d you say the name of your old gym was?”