Gratuitously offensive

the nigerian strikes back

I got this exact email 12 times today from 12 different email addresses:

hi, i want to come and see this property, when can you show it ot me?

can you call me and let me know?

So, I responded to each email:


Dear Mike the Nigerian:
Thanks for your tremendous interest in my rental property! I was elated to see that you wrote me 12 times with the same questions and same invitations to call (but, oddly, with no phone number)! I was also surprised that such an educated chap misspelled “to” all 12 times! How crazy! It’s as if you’ve got shit for brains or something! If you will recall, I have already given you two very attractive choices for how to seal this deal! Again, I need you to 1) bring me a pile of cash or 2) shine my balls.
I’m sincerely hoping that you choose option #2! Mainly because my balls need shining, and I have a feeling that your hands are JUST what my balls need this holiday weekend! Shine on, you crazy balls waxer!

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