Neighborhood

urban hayride

actual description from a house down the street (emphasis added):

AWESOME FORECLOSURE PROPERTY!GREAT CONVENIENTLOCATION!AN INVESTOR OR 1ST TIME HOMEOWNER’SDREAM!CLEAN, COSY&COMFORTABLE!INCREDIBLE VALUE!SOLD AS-


Below is an email thread from my neighborhood’s community listserv. If it looks like a bunch of neighbors are carpooling to go to court with the hope that they will see the kid who has broken into their homes get incarcerarted, well, then you’d be right.

>I’ll go! Who wants to carpool?
>> Remember everyone, 715 Elm goes in front of the judge at 8am tomorrow morning in Judge Jackson’s court. The court room is 6D. I spoke with his assistant and he has received our letter, pictures and signatures. Who will be going to court?

C’mon, y’all!  Let’s all load up and go to court to see if the little bastard who burglarized our homes will actually get convicted this time!  Sorta makes me want want to stay here, you know?  I think I’ll stand in my yard, shake my fist in the air, and call my agent:  “Ms Realtor, TEAR DOWN THIS SIGN!”

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  1. Just last week I prosecuted a case in Juvenile court. The weasel broke into 18 cars, had property from each car in his possession or bedroom, and confessed.

    All the victims can testify to is “Someone stole my (radio, cds, gun, whatever) and I got it back fom the police the next day.”

    He insisted on a trial.

    His mother didn’t show for court, so we had to continue it.

    26 really angry citizens.

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