I love my fellow grammar snob friends. I got this email today from a girl (I guess she’s a woman now, like Neil Diamond and Urge Overkill told us would happen soon) who has been like a sister to me since we were in the 9th grade together (as in, back in the late 1980s…this whole other decade/century/millennium):
Based on FB and Twitter posts during the last several weeks, it seems that a large number of people have recently (a) had new babies and / or (b) acquired pets for their existing children. I had a minor meltdown yesterday when I saw what had to be at least the tenth recent announcement of a “new edition to the family.”
When I see such posts, I wonder, has the previous child or pet expired, or is it somehow no longer relevant? Perhaps the new edition comes with a heretofore unpublished foreword or chapters? Or boasts a coveted endorsement from a renowned author or businessperson? But how can that be – if it is but an infant, a dog? Mostly I wonder, my eyes alight with possibility … could it be true at last? Did a bundle of joy just come home from the hospital belting a verbatim rendition of “Mr. Telephone Man” in perfect falsetto??? Hallelujah!!! It is an R&B Miracle!!!
God bless the New Edition(s), I guess. I can’t imagine that BBD and Bobby are getting so much traction on social media otherwise. But as that was not likely the intent, I just needed to vent to the fellow grammar police. I did not know that this distinction was a difficult one. And if that were not bad enough, a great many of the offenders share a HS diploma from HHS. Cringe.
Thanks for not making me feel like a jerk for judging the stupid. Back to work now. Have a great day!
PS: Roll Damn Tide.
So, for clarification:
New addition!
While I completely agree with your post there is something much more pressing going on here. Why are New Edition dressed like the Super Mario Brothers?
Great point–I too am concerned!
Congratulations. Bel Biv Devoe.
Indeed!
I love this post and I love even more that I know the writer of the email.
I just hope we can get her to come to the reunion this summer/fall. I doubt it, though.
Reading the comments, Sarah nearly had milk coming out of my nose. Funny gal.
Before kids, when people were doing their “kid brag” thing, I used to mockingly talk about my Great Dane that way. Now that I have my own little sprogs, I try not to over chat people about them, even though they are rocket scientists and nobel prize winners in the making.
Jason
The Cheeky Daddy
Let’s hope so…and I’ll make sure everyone hears how they learned everything that propelled them to success from me.
Motown Philly, yo.
(Wait. That was Boyz II Men.)
Clearly, you’re a white dude in California.