Call me Moe.

After we saw “Meet the Fockers,” my wife starting saying, “Muskrat!” when I’d say something inappropriate in front of the children.  Or anyone else whose opinion had any value to her.

I started writing in spiral notebooks with Bic pens in 1984.  I started typing on web logs in 2005.  This site is what people call a “personal blog.”  Because it sometimes contains thoughts one might think inappropriate, I named it after our secret word used in public for asking me politely to “shut the hell up.”

This is a picture of me during Movember.

Sometimes, people interview me.  Here’s a portion of my interview with James Lipton, plagiarizing Bernard Pivot, channeling Marcel Proust:

01. What is your favorite word? free
02. What is your least favorite word? tax
03. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? idiosyncratic juxtaposition
04. What turns you off? vomiting
05. What is your favorite curse word? rat bastard whores!
06. What sound or noise do you love? when I pull in the garage, start up the stairs, and the baby is jumping up and down yelling “Daddy Daddy!” at the end of the workday.
07. What sound or noise do you hate? war (mortars, fighter planes, gunshots)
08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? front man for an 80’s hair band
09. What profession would you not like to do? the Army Private assigned to burn the poo in a war zone.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Loved your blog!  Thanks for never taking My name in vain.”

Need to contact me?  I’m at muskratblog [at] gmail.com