01.19stuff white people dislike: regret over becoming white
Today, $170 million will be spent on an event. A celebration. A new beginning. A signal that change is coming. There will be music and fireworks and fanfare.
There will be pride in the chests of the 13% or so of Americans who identify themselves as “black” or “African-American” as they see someone who shares at least part of their ancestry solemnly swear to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution within his execution of the office of President of the United States.
Except for one.
Why? Because this genius decided to get out of his race before it even entered The Race. He lost his hope before society regained its hope. He elected to change before the rest of the country brought about change. He became a fucking cracker.
Is this the result of wanting to make the world a better place, taking a look at himself, and making a change?
A way to ensure Billie Jean won’t be his lover?
Or just a desperate move to keep Macaulay Culkin interested?
Regardless of the initial motivation, the end result is the same: a confused man has abandoned being black just when being black was starting to get interesting. And for that, I suggest we pause whatever happy or disappointed thoughts we have today to remember the Philip Nolan of Darkville. And laugh our asses off at him.
I think it’s a desperate move to keep McCauley interested, as gross as it sounds. Thanks for that image.
unfinishedrambler’s last blog post..Sunday Shout Out #4: Blicky Kitty, Soggy Doggy Bloggy and favorite posts of last week
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January 19th, 2009 at 11:56 PM
There are also thousands of upper middle-class white suburbanite boys who decided that they’re black, so it evens out in the end.
Avitable’s last blog post..Avitaweek 2009: Martin Loser King
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January 20th, 2009 at 12:26 AM
And why did janet get her nose re-shaped? did she see her bro and think it was a good idea???
Also there is a song out at the moment that goes on about wanting to roll with the gangsters but being too white and nerdy…
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw
I still love Thriller though.
SSG’s last blog post..Hello peeps
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January 20th, 2009 at 4:57 AM
not touching this one with a ten foot pole.
SciFi Dad’s last blog post..Defining Success
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January 20th, 2009 at 6:22 AM
muskrat mocks Michael. Makes me mirth-full. Man o Man. More, More!!!
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January 20th, 2009 at 7:32 AM
Not to mention it’s a big day for Muslims as well.
prefers her fantasy life’s last blog post..Tuesdays With My Card-Carrying Gay Buddhist Buddy (Part Two)
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January 20th, 2009 at 8:18 AM
I’m just curious here…
There was a HUGE stink over the cost of the clothes that Palin wore during her campaigning..
Just how much is the wardrobe that the Obama’s are going to wear to these festivities?
And are they EVER going to be used again?
Oh, and to coin my favorite MJ phrase:
“Keep up with the Force, don’t stop.. Can’t stop ’til you get enough”
Jormengund’s last blog post..Happy Birthday to M…. Meh. I’ve got bitching to do!
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January 20th, 2009 at 12:34 PM
I for one am glad the Michael has left the US. I don’t know where he is but I hope he stays there.
Jen’s last blog post..Inauguration of Barack Obama 44th President of the United States of America
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January 20th, 2009 at 1:53 PM
UR, If that’s true, then they’re both very sick.
Avitable, Very true. They used to call such “wiggaz” when I was in high school. Now, I think they’re called “normal.”
SSG, There are many unanswered questions with regard to this clan. I can’t begin to answer them.
SciFiDad, That’s too bad.
AvatG, Are you holding pom-poms?
PrefersFantasyLife, Good point. Sorry I forgot!
Jormengund, I’m sure they’re donated to the nearest thrift store and become large tax deductions. At least, I hope they are.
Jen, He’s in your backyard, actually. Next to the swingset.
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January 20th, 2009 at 2:36 PM
Funny thing is, a shit load of right-wingers give Obama crap for exactly what you’re accusing MJ of (or was that your sly message?)
Rickey Henderson’s last blog post..Your Obligatory Inauguration Day Post
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January 20th, 2009 at 4:22 PM
Janet’s nose is.. freaky. and Micheal? well.. he’s just all around freaky.
*shudder* creepy man.
ChurchPunkMom’s last blog post..The Other Girl
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January 20th, 2009 at 4:47 PM
Wanted to come by and let you know this post was added to Angry Seafood’s
Live Obama Inaugural Humor Blog Roundup
Chris C’s last blog post..Live Obama Inaugural Humor Blog Roundup
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January 20th, 2009 at 6:15 PM
Poor Michael Jackson. Not only has he changed race, he also appears to have changed species.
Tiggy’s last blog post..Chinese Whispers – Sparky’s Party
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January 20th, 2009 at 6:30 PM
Michael a cracker… Now that’s some funny shit right there, I don’t care who you are!
Candice’s last blog post..In light of my recent spider encounter and subsequent freak out
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January 20th, 2009 at 7:52 PM
Rickey, That was not my message, but the great thing about Muskrat posts is that they often contain hidden, deeper messages realized only by the astute reader. Congrats! Your my first such reader!
ChurchPunkMom, Creepy? That’s giving him too much credit.
ChrisC, Thanks!
Tiggy, I think you’re right. Can his species still be preceded with a “homo”? I’m thinking probably not.
Candice, Funny to us. Not to him.
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January 20th, 2009 at 8:23 PM
I am a day late reading this but I must say that I for one am sympathetic to MJ’s plight. Imagine the regret on such a day. If only Hilary had been victorious, MJ’s transformation would have proven out “his” foresight. It could have been glorious. I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson. I am. For real.
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January 20th, 2009 at 10:44 PM
Ahh, money and fame. What a terrible combination. He wasn’t all that bad looking before his first surgery. Poor guy! or whatever.
Leeuna’s last blog post..The Recession Depression Recession Cycle
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January 20th, 2009 at 11:17 PM
Muskrat, this post made me laugh. It’s so good to live in a post-racial sociey now, and yet still no race wants to claim Michael.
Good stuff.
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January 21st, 2009 at 12:11 AM
Michael can yell that he has a skin disease all he wants, that doesn’t explain that inhuman nose. He’d be better off with a naturally splotchy, discolored face than whatever he is now.
I say this having seen such people before.
I hope most of that money went to government employees, parade participants, local caterers/chefs/food service workers, contractors, and the like. I wonder if they’ll publish a vague accounting somewhere?
Anyway, this is a great post, and I say this as a cracker myself.
LiteralDan’s last blog post..A note upon Inauguration 2009
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January 21st, 2009 at 1:32 AM
SummerClearance, Are you a porn star? I think “sympathetic” is a reaction MJ can’t be to accomstomed to getting. I’m sure he apprectiates it.
Leeuna, Yes, poor guy is right. Not.
Tyrone, It’s almost funny enough to be tragic.
LiteralDan, It’s good to get affirmation from another cracker. Hope you’re staying warm these days in Chicago!
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January 21st, 2009 at 9:29 AM
Do you know what Red Bull feels like when it gets shot out of your nose?
I do cause it just happened whilst reading this post. Ass
punkrockdad’s last blog post..The Man In The Box
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January 22nd, 2009 at 10:55 AM
He should have stuck with the tanning bed and left the bleach to his mustachioed white sisters.
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January 22nd, 2009 at 6:17 PM
[...] stuff white people dislike: regret over becoming white [...]
May 17th, 2010 at 6:37 PM
Thanks pal. It was cool seeing
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January 16th, 2012 at 7:06 AM